Without You (Part 2 of National Anthem)
by alexusworld
Summary: Jude leaves for tour without Tommy, will they make it? "And I remember when I met him. It was so clear that he was the only one for me. We both knew right away. And as the years went on things got more difficult, we were faced with more challenges. I begged him to stay, tried to remember what we had at the beginning."
1. Chapter 1: Spreading Her Wings

**Chapter One: Spreading Her Wings**

Since summer had come to an end Jude had made the decision to leave her High School to become a full time artist, but Darius insisted she walk away with a Diploma so he had hired her one of the best tutors around. Jude and Tom had stayed in their perfect state with very little fights since her album release party. For once things with them had seemed to be only heading up. Now her 18th birthday was just days away and that would mark a year of her love life with Tommy. Something that was unbelievable for just about everyone in their lives including them. Time had flown since they met, and had seemed to sped up even more since they had become completely serious about one another.

Now, Jude was laying on her back in G Major's Longue on her favorite orange sofa. She was humming while staring at her phone and listening to the buzz and commotion of work being carried out around her. She was patiently waiting for her meeting with Darius to begin and she could only assume it was about how well her album was doing. In fact Jude kept up to date on her statistics; every day since it was released two months ago in August she checked the Canadian and US charts. In the United States alone her album had hit number one on the Top Rock Albums and Top Modern Rock categories. It had peaked at number two on the Billboard 200 list and even reached number one on Top Canadian albums. All of these exciting accomplishments meant only one thing to Jude now, tour. She was knocked out of thought when a pen came flying at her head. Her laid back position quickly changed to sitting up as she peered at the end of the couch.

Jude recognized his shaggy dirty blonde hair from anywhere, "Ouch Spiederman!"

"As if it actually hurt Rock Princess," just then Spied paused and smiled, "or should I say Queen?"

Jude could not help but beam, everyone had known of her success and she loved to bathe in it. "I could get used to the sound of that."

Spied moved closer on the couch to her chuckling, "You excited for tour?"

"Spied I don't know just yet-"

"Jude, you know you're going on tour. You knew since the album release and so did D. We talked about it ya know." Spied interjected Jude's speech.

Jude cocked her head and looked at the boy before her questionably, "You talked about it?"

"Say hello to your assistant tour manager!" Spied threw his hands in the air in excitement.

Her eyes widened with joy, "You're gonna be coming on tour with me too?"

"Me, you, and lord Squinty Frown, what a group! Am I right?" Spied excited.

Jude bobbed her head with a dissipating smile, "Yeah, right."

At Jude's off response Spied went to question her apparent uneasiness, but was cut off by the boss man. "Jude, my office."

Jude got up abruptly and followed Darius through the lavish gold doors leading into his office. She took a seat in the large embroidered chairs across from his desk and crossed her legs, "So what's the news D?"

Darius smiled wickedly while folding his hands, "Well your album is topping charts across the world and is especially doing good in the states. So as I promised-"

"I'm going on tour!" Jude shrieked in excitement.

Darius bellowed shaking his head, "Yes rock star you are. Three months long. You'll be traveling across the states and then back to Canada. You're send-off show and kick off to the tour will be here. It will also be your last spot on tour as well. I figure why not grace the city where you came from with a bonus performance."

"I can't believe this is happening," Jude spoke in awe as it settled in that all her dreams were coming true.

"Believe it Harrison. Now I'll be sending you on tour with my right hand man Liam, he will be your tour manager and oversee the roadies and make sure everything is in place, including you. Vincent will be his assistant, basically just running around for everyone again. You'll have your entourage of G Major people, you know ensemble, makeup, your tutor so you can graduate, a DJ, and I'm assuming if you wish, your producer." Darius explained everything thoroughly with a stern, yet gleeful demeanor, "You'll have your very own Jude Harrison tour bus stocked with only your favorites!"

Jude could not believe this was really happening, "So when do I leave?"

"It'll be a three month tour. We want to have your big bash send off on New Years Eve, price the tickets up real high so people can come into the New Year partying with their idol. Then New Years Day you're off to the states for a show in Boston on the 4th." Darius had everything exactly planned out, this tour would be a major profit for G Major and even Jude would get a healthy settlement.

After hashing out tour details Jude made her way out of G Major. She wasn't set to record any new work until after tour, although she had constantly been writing. Her brain took her to the only logical place to go, Tom Quincy's house. Since the success of an artist he brought in and produced was off the charts he was granted his time off as well. Tom was aware of the meeting Jude had with Darius today and he was also aware of what it meant.

Tommy was overly joyous when he heard his front door open, he rushed to see Jude walking in as expected, "How'd it go?"

"Nice to see you too Quincy." Jude joked as their arms began to wrap around one another.

Tom chuckled and placed a kiss on her cheek, "Sorry, I'm just anxious to hear the big news!"

"Looks like I'm going on tour!" Tom's arms flew open and Jude jumped up as he caught her.

He excitedly spun Jude around as their lips connected and tongues collided. When their lips parted she rested her head to his "I'm so proud of you girl," Tom hushed against her lips.

Later that night Jude and Tom were relaxing on his couch. She had her feet propped up on his lap as she leaned against the armrest of the sofa. Tom was half focusing on the television and half focusing on how Jude bit her pen in frustration and furrowed her eyebrows as she tried figuring out her tutor's homework.

Eventually a small groan fell from her lips and she dropped her papers to the floor while flinging her head back, "I hate homework."

Tom chuckled lightly to himself as he push her legs off of him so that he could work his way closer to Jude, "Then take a break."

Jude bit her lip as Tom slowly made his way to hover over her, "What exactly do you have in mind Quincy?"

His lips pecked at her jaw line, "Just a little something to relieve the stress."

Tom then positioned himself better so that he was in between her legs and his mouth began to suck at the sensitive skin of her neck. She let out subtle moans as his hands groped her hips causing their pelvises to thrust towards each other, "I'll definitely never get my work done on tour with you." Those words caused Tom to immediately stop what he was doing and spring his body up. Jude was confused at his reaction and looked at him as she squinted her eyes in curiosity, "I didn't say stop?"

Tom aggressively ran his hands over his face, "Jude are you really sure you want me to tour with you?" This thought had been racking his brain for days.

"Come on Tommy, I didn't mean it like that!" She huffed crossing her arms and blowing a stray piece of hair from her face, "I was just teasing you."

Tom relaxed back into the sofa staring at Jude, "I just want to make sure you want me there. I don't want you to feel obligated to bring your boring old boyfriend along."

Jude playfully kicked his leg, "Quincy you are anything but boring and I wouldn't go as far to say you're old."

Tom let out a deep breath and shook his head, "Jude I'm being serious. I just want to make sure this isn't something you want to do on your own. I don't want to smother you or have you get tired of me."

Quickly all of Jude's friskiness left her body as she began to contemplate his words, "I mean I asked you to come didn't I?"

"I know babe, but you were in the heat of the moment," Tom paused to gather his thoughts. "You had just found out about the possibility of it and everything was a rush, I just don't want it to be a sporadic decision that you regret. I just don't want you to miss out on anything girl."

"I'm not understanding where this is coming from." Jude felt her eyes sting, but she wasn't sure why. She could sense doubt in his words, something she hadn't felt from him in awhile.

Tom stood up from the couch and grabbed Jude's hand gently to pull her body to his, "Here goes nothing." He mumbled under his breath. It was now or never, he had to make her understand his thought process. "Jude, I'm standing before you a much better man than the way you originally found me. When I saw you walk down that red carpet almost a year ago you truly took my breath away. That night when you gave yourself to me I knew you were different, but I also knew I was too bad of a man to claim you as mine. But you stayed, you helped me work through my difficulties, and you showed me I really did have a heart. I never thought a woman could hurt me let alone I would ever fall in love and want to settle down." Jude's breath was hitching as she felt tears rolling down her face, where was this all leading? "I want to make absolute sure that you will be ready to settle down, I mean you're only turning 18 next week. I'm not saying you will want someone else, I'm just saying maybe you will wish you experienced a little bit more of life without me." Tom took a deep breath and looked into her darkened blue watery eyes, "I was gonna wait until your birthday, but it feels right, I need to do this now."

Jude's eyes widened as she began to understand what was about to happen, "Oh my god." Her voice was faint in amazement.

"Whether you want to spread your wings and tour without me as everyone says or tag me along I will be right here Jude because I want you to marry me. I want you to be my fiancé and someday my beautiful wife." He watched the smile rise from her lips and that's when he knew, "So what do you say Jude Harrison, you want to be a Quincy?"

No words were said as she crashed her lips to his and his arms melted around her. They could both taste the salty tears of bliss as their tongues collided. When she felt her mind was better able to communicate she pulled away breathless staring at him, "Yes Tommy, yes!"

"Thank god." Tom let out a small laugh, "I don't have the ring now but-"

"It doesn't matter Quincy, that was amazing." Jude gushed as her hand caressed his cheek.

Tom smiled shyly, "I had this whole plan for your birthday. The ring would be in and we'd be at our little romantic dinner and I was gonna do the whole knee thing."

"No Tom, this was absolutely perfect." She pecked his lips again, "What made you do it now?"

"Well I was ready to do it months ago, but I figured that was way too soon. I just want you to know whatever you pick, really pick, I'm here. I don't want you to change your mind about us months or even years from now " Tom hushed as his eyes deepened their stare.

"What do you think is best Tommy?" Jude asked because she really wasn't sure. She knew Tom had a crazy life before her, one that she often heard stories about, and she knew she didn't have very many of her own so this thought he brought up came to mind, "I know I asked on a whim. I was just so excited, but do you really think I'll want to be free and all?"

"I don't know Jude, I don't want to ruin this whole proposal." Tom let out a sorrowful bellow, "It's just I don't want to hold you back. I'll let you go have your wild times I've had enough. Just promise me one thing?"

"And what would that be Quincy?" Jude knew he was right, touring without him would definitely prove if their love could withstand time and if he was willing why not?

"Don't forget about your little old fiancé waiting at home." Tom whispered lightly knowing what decision he had brought her too.

"Tommy I could never forget about you in a million year." Jude pulled his hands to follow her down to the couch. They both sat as both of their hands stayed locked together, "I'm grateful that you thought about me and us this much that'd you sacrifice going if it meant we'd be better in the long run. I'm not saying I want to go be crazy and wild, but maybe this could be a good thing. We've never actually been apart when we've been so amazing because right now Quincy you have me feeling like I'm on top of the world. So if I do this alone, if I go at this and grow up a bit, promise me one thing too?"

"Anything Harrison." Tom replied simply staring into the depths of her eyes.

"When I get back, this summer we have a small wedding on the beach in LA. We'll fly out only close friends and family and we will make it official." Jude bit her lip, she knew it was asking a bit much to have a wedding ready in six short months, but she didn't want to lose Tom over touring and she didn't want him to lose hope. Jude knew how fast he could lose that.

A smile rekindled over Tom's face as he let out another breath, "You really thought that up fast didn't you girl."

Jude tilted her head back and forth with a grin, "So I've thought about us getting hitched before. I'm a teenage girl, what do you expect?"

Tom gently kissed her forehead and placed a hand to her cheek, "I love that idea."

Maybe it was crazy to get engaged after a year. Maybe it was even crazier to get married after only a year and a half of knowing each other. But nothing about being in love was ever sane or normal, especially for Tom Quincy and Jude Harrison.


	2. Chapter 2: Eighteen

Chapter Two: Eighteen

Jude paced her bedroom biting her lip. She kept looking at her bony calloused left hand and staring down at the beautifully cut diamond incrusted ring. She had said yes without one, but as soon as it was done and awaiting Tom at the jewelry store he rushed there. He woke Jude up early that day, on her birthday, just to give her the ring. He was so excited he could not wait. But now that it was sitting on her finger it all became real, she was engaged. Tonight she'd be enjoying a family dinner and then a small gathering of friends at her house. Since she had joined the G Major family Jude had gotten tired of the big glitzy parties; she practically pulled teeth to convince Darius not to throw her one.

There was a knock on Jude's door and she quickly slid the ring into her pocket, she wasn't ready to tell anymore. "Uh, come in."

Sadie stared at her sister wondering why she appeared so antsy, "You okay sis?"

"Um, yeah I'm great." Jude was not at all upset about her newfound fiancé; she was just worried what everyone would think including her family.

"Jude I'm your big sister, I've known you all your life. What's going on?" Sadie crossed her arms leaning against the doorway. Jude brushed her hand against her jean pocket and sealed her lips inward leaving a discomforted look on her face. _To tell or not to tell, that was the question. _"You're not pregnant are you because I saw Tom bring a bag in this morning and-"

Jude stopped her with laughter, "Oh my god no Sades."

Sadie pressed her hands to her heart, "What a relief!" Then her curiosity grew again, "Wait so why was he here this morning?"

"Just brought me my gift Sadie, it's not a big deal!" Jude stated with an irritated tone.

"He couldn't wait until after dinner when everyone is giving you gifts?" Sadie raised an eyebrow becoming suspicious.

Jude shrugged her shoulders, "It's personal."

"Oh come on, we're big girls! If it's some kinky sex stuff you can tell me!" Sadie stepped closer to her sister with a wide smile on her face, "Handcuffs? Special lube? Oh, a dildo?"

Jude rolled her eyes and placed her hand in her pocket. She gently brushed the ring along her fingers, debating if she should pull it out. "No Sades."

"Come on, you're killing me! What couldn't he show in front of everyone? Lingerie?" Sadie began to stare into space with determination, "Don't tell me it's like a leather sex suit!"

"Holy fuck Sadie what porn do you watch? No it's none of that, it's nothing sexual!" Jude started giggling at her sister's questions in disbelief.

"So what is it?" Jude's head bowed down and she concentrated on her shoes, Sadie picked up on her behavior, "Is it jewelry?" She spotted the smile that crept on Jude's face, and became intrigued at the lack of eye contact, "Oh I'm getting warm. Necklace? Bracelet? Earrings?" She watched Jude shake her head no, "Okay so it's not jewelry I'm confused?"

"No it's jewelry." Jude peeped, as her sister got closer to the discovery.

Sadie's jaw dropped, "Please say it's a promise ring."

"Well, um, it's kinda more serious than-"

"Jude you're engaged!" Sadie shouted and Jude rushed to place a hand over her sister's mouth.

"Keep it down! I'm not ready for mom and dad to know!" Jude quickly interjected her sister.

Sadie took a step back, "Jude you're 18," she paused trying to figure out how to explain her worries, "and you and Tommy haven't exactly been stable."

"He's ready to settle down Sadie and he has no more secrets!" Jude felt offended her sister would doubt her big relationship move, "And he loves me."

"Jude it's really fast, I mean he's old that's understandable but you're-"

"Sadie he is not old!" Jude quickly defended cutting her sister off, "Besides he's gonna let me go tour alone and live a little, then we're getting married!"

"Oh, he's gonna let you? Jude! What is he your dad? You deserve to live life, you deserve to live life for a good amount of time before you're completely settled, not just some three month tour." Sadie had thought this idea was absolutely absurd.

Jude sighed, "I want this Sadie, okay. Please I need you to be supportive."

Sadie rolled her eyes and exhaled, "I'm just in shock Jude." She walked towards her sister turning more serious, "It's just when did you become so grown up enough to make this decision."

"I don't know Sades, but trust me when I say this is what I want. He is what I want. Forever." Jude smiled as the last words slipped from her mouth.

"So when are you gonna tell mom and dad?" Sadie asked feeling defeated in her argument.

"Now that is a good question!" Jude let out a small laugh, "Not today, definitely not today."

Birthday dinner with the parents seemed agonizingly slow. All Jude wanted was for her friends to arrive, and Tommy, she definitely needed to get her hands on him. "Jude, honey, get the door!" Victoria shouted from the kitchen as the familiar ring spread through the house.

Jude scurried towards the door and when she opened it a large grin played across her face. Tom stood before her with a bouquet of red roses. She stepped outside quickly closing the door behind her. "Uh Jude aren't you gonna-" Her lips crashed to his as her hands wrapped around his neck. Tom taken back, but completely into the scenario wrapped his arms around her waist still holding the bouquet.

Jude pulled away beaming and still close to his lips, "I'm sorry. I just needed to do that."

"Not complaining," Tom smirked.

Moments later they entered the house and Tom greeted Jude's parents. Victoria happily placed the roses in a vase and brought a bottle of wine to offer. "Sure I'll have a glass." Tom spoke up as he sat at the end of the cleared dining table.

"Me too!" Jude chirped as she raised a finger indicating she'd like one.

Victoria laughed, "Well you are 18."

Just then the doorbell rang again and Jude jumped it. Opening the door she saw the quirky smiles of Blue, Jamie, and Kat. "Hey guys!"

They all rushed in while piling cards and wrapped gifts into Jude's arms. Just as she shut the door there was a small knock. Jude opened it, "Spied you made it!"

Spied nodded his head handing Jude a card, "It's not much, but I hope you enjoy it."

Jude shut the door behind Spiederman and walked him towards the dining hall where everyone seemed to be indulging themselves in a glass of a wine. "Hey man!" Tom waved towards Vincent as he went to sit beside him.

"Open your gifts Jude!" Kat giggled sipping her deep purple drink.

"Alright I'll start with yours Kat!" Jude stated as she sat at the end of the table and unwrapped the metallic package. Jude's jaw dropped in awe as she pulled from the box a large flower headband that was decorated with pink, purple, and white pastel flowers.

"I know you love accessorizing for parties and I figured you'd love it." Kat bit her lip anxiously, "I wasn't sure what to get you; you kind of have everything."

Jude smiled wide, "No Kat I love it! It's beautiful."

"On to mine!" Jamie shouted from across the table.

Jude laughed and ripped apart the rather chunky card. She began to giggle as she pulled from the envelope a large ring that would lie across three fingers spelling out _bad_, "Jamie this is fucking awesome!"

"You give off that whole gangster old time, bad girl vibe so I figured why not." Jamie beamed as Tom just rolled his eyes at his response with a soft chuckle.

Jude now turned her attention to Blue's box that had a giant red bow on it. She pulled out a pair of American flag high-waisted shorts and shrieked, "I love it!"

"I figured it'd be cool to rock on tour in the states. It'd fit that American song ya know." Blue smiled knowing her gift was perfect.

"Jude, before you open mine and make me look bad, I'm sorry!" Spied chuckled, "I'm working on an internship salary still."

Jude shook her head laughing pulling the card from the envelope. A small Polaroid like picture fell from the card. She picked it up smiling, "Frank Sinatra's mug shot?"

"It's one of many, but you said once he was your inspiration. I thought it was pretty badass." Spied smirked realizing how much she loved it.

"I'm absolutely in love, thank you Spied." Jude looked between the picture and Vincent with a huge grin plastered to her face. Tom felt a little jealous and uneasy noticing the glances shared between the pair, but chopped it up to being paranoid after everything that happened.

Suddenly the room fell quiet and noticeably everybody's eyes were on Tom. He picked up on the awkwardness, "Am I missing something?"

Kat cleared her throat and shrugged, "Did you get Jude anything?"

"Kat!" Jude interrupted angrily giving her friend a death clear.

Tom began to chuckle, "Well yeah actually I did." He looked to Jude with a warm smile, "Jude."

Jude closed her eyes tightly and bit her lip. Now was not the time, "Yeah he got me this necklace but silly me broke the clasp. It had to be repaired already!"

Tom looked at her confusingly, but played along sensing her unwillingness to share, "Right it uh broke. It should be like new by the end of the week."

Everyone at the table looked to the pair who were telling secrets with their eyes. The room fell silent and uncomfortable. Later that night Jude's parents had fled to their bedroom and Jude said her goodbyes to Jamie and Spied. Kat and Blue were staying to have an old fashioned sleepover and Jude was outside kissing her love goodbye.

"So a necklace?" Tom questioned staring at Jude.

"I'm not ready to tell my parents. I'm nervous and I didn't want to have my birthday ruined." Jude admitted as she twisted her hands.

Tom shook his head taking in her information and biting his inner cheek, "Ruined?"

"I'm not sure how they'll react, I mean I'm 18-"

"You think you're too young?" Tom asked with his feelings obviously hurt.

"Babe, no stop! Look I told Sadie. I don't think I'm too young; age has nothing to do with love especially our love. It's just I want to wait to tell them until after tour, it'll be easier." Jude pleaded with her eyes to make Tom understand.

Tom sighed as he rolled his neck then looked into Jude's blue eyes that always made him weak, "Fine Harrison. I just don't want you embarrassed of me that's all!"

Jude giggled as her lips pressed against his lightly, "Never Quincy." She spoke in between soft kisses, "You are so sexy, how could I ever be embarrassed?"

"Don't tease me Harrison." Tom groaned against her lips.

Jude kissed him passionately and when she still felt those sparks, like with every kiss they shared, she knew she was making the right decision in marrying him. "I'm sorry Tommy, but I gotta get back in there. Kat and Blue might devour the wine and be belligerent before me. I love you so much baby boy."

Tom chuckled pecking Jude's cheek, "I love you too girl. Have fun."

Later that night Jude, Blue, and Kat were tipsy giggling in the basement of the Harrison household. They had been watching music videos on the projector screen and sipping wine for a few hours now. Jude swallowed her last bit of alcohol and began looking at her left hand. Her face fell sad when she realized she was not wearing her ring. If she wasn't getting increasingly drunk by the second she would've remembered choosing not to wear it.

"Where's my ring?" Jude half shouted through a hiccup.

Kat and Blue started laughing before staring at her, "What ring?"

Jude began throwing the pills from her couch and lifting up cushions, "My engagement ring from-"

"Engagement ring?" Blue spoke alarmingly, "You're engaged?"

Jude stopped her mission of tearing the couch apart and turned to her shocked friends. Their faces made her realize what she had just done, "Fuck! Don't tell anyone."

"Oh my god Jude." Kat hushed as they all begin to sit down.

"We're really growing up aren't we?" Blue stated as she stared blankly at the screen.

Jude nodded her head, "Yeah, me engaged. It's like just yesterday I met him."

"Is this really what you want Jude you're so-"

Jude quickly cut off Kat's words already knowing what was coming, "Young?" She laughed with a sarcastic tone, "This is what I want. Tommy is all I want."

"Is he going on tour with you?" Blue wondered aloud.

Jude shook her head _no, _"We're gonna spend 3 months apart. Tom thinks it's best if I get life experiences without him. He's worried I'm gonna change my mind."

"Do you think you'll change your mind?" Kat looked to Jude with concern, she only wanted what was best for her longest and dearest friend.

"No, he's my prince charming." Jude swooned, "He's everything I could ever want and need."

Blue rolled her eyes, "Jude it's puppy love, you're in high school."

"I'm tired of people thinking they know me and how I'm feeling!" Jude felt offended, it was her decision and her decision only, "We're gonna have a small wedding on the beach this summer and I wanted you two to be there." She began to sadden, "I want everyone I love to be there and actually accept it."

"Jude, Blue is just being a bitch. Of course we will accept what ever makes you happy." Kat jabbed Blue roughly with her elbow.

"I'll accept it when I believe it's what you really want. You're going on tour with that hot ass skater-looking dude from G Major. You guys were rambling about prank wars all night. You gushed when he gave you a stupid picture. Are you sure there's only one man in your eyes?" Blue was watching her relationship with Spiederman all night, and how it seemed anything but platonic.

"First of all it is not a stupid picture! It's Frank Sinatra's mug shot for crying out loud. Second of all we are just friends. Lastly I'm engaged, happily engaged."

Blue rolled her eyes again and sighed, "Okay Jude."

Jude just shrugged off her friends' worries and started to play on her phone. She didn't care what anyone thought. Tour was a few weeks away and life was good and that was all that mattered at the moment.


	3. Chapter 3: Soul Mates

Chapter Three: Soul Mates

Jude woke up with a pounding headache on a recliner in her basement. Fresh drool fell from her lips as she stretched outward. A loud groan came from the couch beside her and she turned to see Kat and Blue passed out. She laughed to herself for a second before remembering she had told them about the engagement. Jude swore under hear breath before checking her phone; it was noon. Jude stood up and crept up the basement stairs. Her parents must have already left for work because the house was silent. She looked to her phone again and decided to call Tommy.

The ringing in her lasted moments before he eagerly picked up, "Someone's finally up."

"Oh hush it Quincy. What are you up to?" Jude laughed lightly as she rolled her eyes.

"Waiting on my fiancé to come love me." His voice filled with a phony sense of sadness.

"I love the ring of that." Jude paused and bit her lip, "Well your fiancé has to shower first."

"Oh but I love your stinky self Harrison." Tom mocked.

Jude giggled, "I'll be over when I'm done and the girls leave."

"Sounds good babe, see you soon."

"Sure thing Quincy." Jude clicked off the phone and turned around as she heard creaking behind her.

Kat had her arms crossed with a wicked smile on her face, "So fiancé, you gonna shower and kick us out?"

"Oh fuck off Kat," Jude joked while looking between her friends standing there, "But yeah kinda."

"Say no more. My morning breath is retched and I need to get my nails done." Blue chuckled.

"We'll be on our way future Mrs. Quincy." Kat smiled lightly. Although she felt off about the entire situation, she knew Jude was happy.

Jude just beamed uncontrollably, " Thanks for understanding guys."

Once Jude was out of the shower and ready for the day she walked across the street. It was dawning on her she had three weeks left with her fiancé before heading out and she realized although touring alone was exciting and ideal to her, she would deeply miss Tommy. Jude always went into his house immediately ever since he had given her the code. He said he had nothing to hide and wanted her to always have a place to escape. Like a puppy waiting for its owner, lovesick Tom Quincy rushed at the sound of an intruder. Jude giggled as he came up and scooped her over his shoulders.

"I have another birthday gift for you." Tom growled sexually.

Jude couldn't help but to giggle as he walked towards his bedroom, "Put me down Quincy."

He laid her on to the bed and quickly hovered over her, "In a short few weeks it's just me and my hand. I need you right now."

"That's all I'll have too." Jude teased as she bit her lip.

Tom swallowed hard as he bowed his lips to Jude's neck. He trailed kisses up to her jaw line before speaking, "Thinking about you touching yourself is something that will now never leave my head."

"Perv!" Jude spouted out jokingly.

"Oh but you love it Harrison." Tom spoke seductively as he took her lips to his.

Jude wrapped her arms around his head and tugged at his hair as he deepened the kiss. She felt the friction of jeans rub against her inner thighs through her leather leggings. She moaned at the feeling of his bulge and Tom hungrily tugged at her pants as he began to break their kiss and stand up. Jude watched in fascination and he pulled off each boot followed by her pants. He licked his lips as his finger traced along the of her lace panties. Jude shuttered beneath his touch as he bent down to slowly pull off her thong. Once they were on the floor he ducked his head down to lick her walls and swollen nub. Jude moaned loudly as his thumb pressed against her clit and his tongue worked between her moist walls. She arched her back and swirled her hips around to push his tongue deeper.

Tom loved the taste of Jude and how he could feel her whole body convulse beneath him. He worked his tongue generously until liquid disbursed into his mouth. He sent waves of after shocks up Jude's spine by licking along her nub before returning to hover over her. Jude took in his lips; tasting herself was something that always got her going even more. She pressed her hands against his chest to push him off her. Jude wanted to take control now. She straddled him and could not deny how amazing the friction of his jeans felt against her bare wet core. Her hands guided off her shirt and Tom stared up at her in amazement. His hands ran up to her back to unclasp her black bra.

Once her breasts were free Jude's hands rolled up Tom's shirt and leaned forward to allow her to take it off. Jude kissed down his chest wriggled down his body. Her hands played with Tom's belt, as she stood bent down at the edge of the bed. Tom licked his lips in anticipation when Jude began to pull off his jeans. As soon as his stiffened member was released she toppled her mouth to it. Tom let out a groan of excitement as his hands entangled in her hair. Jude worked up and down his shaft and used her tongue to add extra pleasure. When Tom felt the overwhelming urge to be inside her he pulled her up to his lips. Jude placed her mouth to his and pulled away by biting his lip. They both had awe struck smiles on their face as Jude hovered above him. She grinded her heat against his member which caused both of them to moan. Tom placed his hands roughly on her hips and Jude gasped as he pressed her down on top of him hastily. Taking in his whole length Jude arched her back as her head flew and she began to thrust up and down on top of him. Tom let one of his hands play with her breast as Jude kept her pace. Jude moaned out and she rode Tom and he gripped harder. When her pace weakened Tom groped her sides and thrusted his pelvis upward. Jude felt her body convulse in pleasure as he slammed upward into her. She tried matching his thrusts throwing her body down on top of him, but she quickly found her release causing each stroke in and out to make her scream. Tom wrapped his arms around her back and held her down to his body as he slowly went upward in and out to find his own release in her tight wet walls.

Jude was panting resting her naked body on his when she kissed his cheek, "I'm so gonna miss this."

Tom traced his hands through her hair as her head stayed rested on his chest. She became more settled as she laid on top of him with a pounding heart; he no longer inside of her, "I'm gonna miss you so much Jude."

Jude heard the undertone of sadness in his voice and what seemed to be a crack as well. She tilted her head up to kiss his jaw line, "Only 3 months Quincy and you can come visit."

Tom kissed the top of her head and adjusted himself to be holding her tightly, "Only if you want."

"I don't think I could go a full three months without seeing my fiancé." Jude whispered feeling her voice crack. "So more if you want to."

Tom knew she had to do this alone for them to ever stay together, he knew she needed space and a life separate from him but that didn't mean he had his doubts. He had those regrets of even being the one to bring it up and wondered if she would have ever said anything. He had his deep hopes that she'd turn around and makes him come along, but those were deep down, somewhere he was afraid to admit. "Jude I would take every opportunity possible offered in the next few months to see you."

She smiled to herself, "You're perfect Quincy."

Later that night Jude and Tom were sitting on his couch watching various comedy movies and enjoying each other's company while they still could. She was nuzzled under his arm and head leaning on his chest as he was tucked in the corner of the couch holding her. The one thought that could not leave his head until everything was said and done was this tour. He kept staring down at her wondering what he would possibly do with himself while she was gone. Jude had become his life and he even strayed from friends just to be with her as much as possible. He wanted Jude to see that this relationship was were his head at and all his player ways were long gone. Luckily with all Tom's efforts Jude had fully trusted him and she couldn't say she was concerned about how he'd spend their time apart. Now Tom on the other hand had his worries, he knew what kind of life Jude was about to be thrown into. He had spent his years on a tour bus as a tour manager through G Major, tour is where he met Chaz and had some of his wildest nights on the road. All Tom could hope is that she would come back in one piece and still his. He could only hope she wouldn't leave her heart on the road.

"All I can think about is losing you." Tom confessed in a solemn sigh randomly looking down at her.

This statement made her perk up and turn to him, "Why are you thinking like that? You're the one who said this was best."

"I know Jude, I just worry." His head bowed and Jude noticed this wasn't to start a fight. "I'm worried this world has more to offer you than I do."

Jude shook her head and grazed her hand across his cheek, "You are crazy Tom Quincy. I waited so long to finally get us right I'm not going to do anything stupid. Can you trust me?"

"I trust you Jude, I just don't trust everyone else. You're gonna be having such a blast and meeting new people constantly. What if you meet someone else? What if you realize I'm not the one? What if you don't want to settle down anymore?" All of his heart aching questions were spewing out like word vomit.

Jude sighed as she dropped her hands, "Thomas Quincy when will you understand that there will never be anyone else." She bowed her forehead to his, "You're my soul-mate. I can't explain why I'm so sure of it. I just know it. There is no one else out there for me. I can feel it every time I see you, every time I touch you, every time I kiss you, I feel it."

Their lips pressed gently together and then pulled apart as Tom looked into her eyes, "I feel it too Jude. That's why I asked you to marry me."

"So stop worrying babyboy." Jude whispered.

"You have my heart and my trust." Tom hushed as they crashed their lips together again. Their tongues feverishly fought to prove their love for one another. One way or another both were determined to make sure this was going to last. They would make it through tour, hopefully.


	4. Chapter 4: The New Year

**Chapter Four: The New Year**

"I can't believe I leave tomorrow." Jude sighed as she stood before Sadie in her dressing room. She had just performed her last song of the New Years Eve bash and it sunk in that at 5am she'd be catching a flight to the states and leaving behind all she's known of life. She wouldn't just be missing the obvious fiancé, but leaving behind her best friends and family was adding to the saddened realization. She always had someone to fall back on, but on tour it was just her. Sure she had Spiederman, but he hadn't known her in and outs like those at home. Sure she'd keep in touch over the phone, but it was not the same as the reassuring kisses and warm savior arms she had at home.

"I'm so proud of you sis. You really grew up so much in a year. It's crazy." Sadie rested her arm on Jude's shoulder, "You're gonna do amazing on the road. I'm so jealous of how much you'll get to experience. It's so exciting Jude!"

Although Sadie was right, it's exciting, it was also completely nerve wrecking, "I'm a mess. What if every thing changes while I'm gone?"

"Is this about Tom?" Sadie questioned as she crossed her arms.

"No Sadie, it's about everyone and everything here." Jude sighed as she sat down on to a red leather couch, "A lot can happen in 3 months, not just to Tom, but you or even Jamie and Kat. Everything can just change or disappear and I'll come back and be the last to know. What if I come back and everyone forgot about me?"

Sadie laughed as she sat beside Jude, "You're gonna be all over the TV and magazines. I find it very hard for any of us to forget you." Jude rolled her eyes causing Sadie to turn more serious, "Jude honestly, all your friends and all of our family love and care about you. No one, including Tom, could ever forget about you. You are seriously going crazy sis."

Jude let out a more relaxed breath taking in her sister's words, "I suppose."

"Don't be so difficult Jude. You're turning tour into prison instead of an amazing experience people would kill for. Relax and enjoy the ride for once."

As Jude was preparing to enter into the New Years party to celebrate with fans and friends, Kwest and Tom were sitting at the V.I.P. lounge's bar chatting over whiskies on the rocks.

"You know I'll be here for you the whole time she's gone man. I won't let you fall into any of those bad habits again." Kwest chuckled as he nudged the obviously depressed man beside him.

"I would never hurt Jude like that again." Tom insisted feeling aggravated his best friend would even joke, "I'm just gonna miss her so much Kwest. I'm so used to every part of her being with me. Her scent is all over my house, in every sheet, in every cushion, in all my clothes. I'm afraid to wash anything I don't want to let that go."

Kwest sunk further into his seat and sighed as he patted Tom's back, "T, this is the furthest thing from permanent. She'll be back in no time taking up all your time and space in your bed. Every relationship goes through their rough patches and I'd say this is not even one of the worst you two have been through."

"I know man, I know. I just worry she'll find something, maybe someone out there that's better for her than me and the future we planned together." Tom took another swallow of his drink and turned to Kwest ready to spill the news to him, "Kwest man, I'm scared she's going to realize she doesn't want to spend forever with me. I'm scared she'll send me back the ring in the mail without any explanation."

Kwest's jaw dropped as he tilted his head, "The ring?" Tom nodded his head to let him know what was on his mind, "You proposed?"

Tom finished off his whiskey, "Yeah on her birthday."

"Man she's eighteen!"

"There's no one else in this world that could ever get me like she does. Jude is my world honestly Kwest and I can't go back to my life before her. I can't lose her man." Tom rested his head in his palms to stress his breaking heart, "I don't know what I'm gonna do when she realizes I'm not good enough."

"T you're good enough don't say that. She loves you more than anything. You've changed so much for her we all noticed. Do I think this engagement was rushed? Maybe, but I know it's coming from a real place. I know you two are in love so I'm here to support it. Just don't let your thoughts get to you because I guarantee the demons in your head are the only enemy, the only threat." Kwest tried stressing how important it was to be mentally stable through the tour.

"I'm trying my best." Tommy groaned as he let his hands fall and his body swing to the side on his chair. He stood up and walked away solemnly not wanting to talk about it anymore.

Jude had just entered the longue and noticed how quickly Tom walked from Kwest looking frustrated. She headed for him as he made his way into the bathroom. Pushing open the door she saw Tom hunched over the sink with his head in his hands. She lightly guided her hand down his back causing him to stand straight. When he realized it was Jude he tried to press a fake smile to his lips, "Someone's in the wrong bathroom."

"Don't play games Tommy. What's wrong?" Jude could tell there was something seriously going on, she wasn't fooled by his act.

"Nothing babe," He tried reassuring, but when Jude crossed her arms and huffed he knew there was no lying. "It's just I'm gonna miss you so much Jude. You're leaving in 6 hours, I don't know how to deal."

Jude's anger filled face flushed as she went to grab Tom's hand. She felt the sadness creep in again, "Tommy you know I'm gonna miss you too."

"Not as much as I will." He remarked, as he looked down to their intertwined hands, "Not as much." He whispered again while bowing his head.

She then took her hand from his to pick up his chin, "Please tell me we can get through this."

"We can. We can get through anything." Tom placed a hand in her hair to pull her face closer, "It's just gonna be brutal without you here. You're my light Jude, you are everything to me." Jude's eyes lit up, his love confessions were always her favorite. "If you left me Jude, I'd miss you forever."

Her lips grazed against his softly and she rested her forehead to his after parting, "No need to miss me forever when you have me forever Quincy. You stole my heart a year ago and I'm not interested in ever getting it back. You banged it up a few times." They both playfully laughed at their long forgiven and forgotten rough beginnings, "But you sure knew how to heal it and keep it safe." She kissed his lips again lightly, "We got this okay?"

"Okay." He whispered, "Okay." Their lips met again, this time more intensely as their tongues ravished one another's mouth.

A throat cleared from the entrance of the bathroom and the couple jumped apart, "If it isn't my two favorite love birds."

Jude laughed as she rolled her eyes and Tom shook his head, "Man Chaz haven't seen you in awhile.'

Chaz nodded and walked towards the pair with his hands shoved in his pockets, "Our dear little Jude has taken up all your time T, it's not my fault."

"Sorry Chaz, he's all yours the next few months." Jude smiled hoping Tom would reconnect with his friends before the wedding.

"So I hear. Have fun on tour I'll keep Tommy here safe." Chaz chuckled as he patted Tom on the back, "I'll keep his leash on."

"HA HA HA very funny Chaz." Tom spoke sarcastically, "I'll be a good boy babe." He turned soft as he pecked Jude's forehead with a kiss.

"I think I threw up, but I actually came to find you two." Chaz looked at the pair, "Word on the street is you two crazy kids are getting hitched."

Jude's jaw dropped and Tom's fists tightened, "Where'd you hear that?"

"First I must say I'm sad you wouldn't inform me first, we've been friends for years." Chaz joked around before becoming serious again, "I heard Kwest and your sister," facing Jude, "talking about it."

"They better keep quiet." Jude huffed walking out of the bathroom leaving Chaz and Tom to talk.

"She's feisty." Chaz commented as he watched the bathroom door slam.

Tom just smiled wide, "Yeah it's cute."

"Damn Tom, you are really into her. It's fucking crazy." Chaz faced Tom again, "I never thought you'd settle down."

"She's special." Tom spoke with adoration, "She's my fiancé. It's crazy."

"Congratulations my man. You're a lucky guy. Caught yourself a good girl and she's not a total bitch." Chaz patted Tom on the back before both deciding to exit the bathroom.

It was nearing midnight and Jude took the stage with Tommy and Darius for the ball drop. She took the microphone and looked out to the crowd, "Thank you guys for all sharing this moment with me. It's gonna be an amazing New Year starting off with touring and I hope every single one of you make this year better than the rest." The crowd was clapping and going crazy, "I'd be nothing without my fans. Thank you guys for everything." Tom rested his hand on Jude's back as the count down began, "5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" Everybody shouted as the ceiling released confetti and music played throughout the club. There was screaming all around but all that mattered was Jude's New Years kiss with her fiancé. The whole world disappeared, as they got lost in each other's lips. Whistling and awes were coming from the crowd causing them to pull apart chuckling with red embarrassed cheeks, "Happy New Year everyone!"

It was 3:30 am and Jude was sitting in Tom's passenger seat on her way to meet the tour crew at the airport. They had only left the club at 2am and didn't try to shut their eyes once. They spent an hour and half ravishing each other, trying to remember every curve and every kiss because this would be the last intimacy for a little awhile. They reached the airport and solemnly got out of the car. Tom headed for the trunk to pull out Jude's luggage. After loading it on to a cart they made their way for the terminal. Jude saw Spiederman waving excitedly next to a very tall man who had been Liam. There were two girls from wardrobe and make-up chatting beside the pair. Everybody seemed eager and ready to go, except for Jude. Before heading to the group Jude faced Tommy and all she had to do was look at the gloominess spread over his face and the tears began to fall.

"Just come." Jude whispered between tears.

Tom shook his head as his eyes began to water, "I refuse to hold you back Jude. I would hate myself forever if I ever did anything to smother you or not let you grow to your full potential." The liquid began falling down his face as Jude's used her thumb to wipe it away, "You need to do this babe, on your own. I'll be right here at home waiting for you."

Jude's breathing became sporadic and heavy, "I love you so much Tommy Quincy. I will call you every day. I need to hear your voice to sleep." She fell into his arms and his hands played with her hair.

"I love you too baby girl." He pushed her back to catch her lips. She wished she could hold on to this moment forever. Tom even found a way to make a goodbye beautiful. When their lips parted he wiped the tears from under his eyes, "Go kick ass on tour girl, like you were meant to."

Jude nodded her head, "See you later Quincy." She refused to ever actually say the words goodbye.

Jude began to walk away and Tom stared at her back as she closed in on her tour groups. Everyone was hugging and smiling and Tom stood there with the most tortured face. His heart was heavy, he knew this time apart would be rough, but it needed to be done. He knew this would be their final test before the big day to prove it was meant to be. When he watched the group walk to the gates he finally started to turn. He had walked barely a minute before a body came crashing into his back. He turned around quickly and a smile spread across his lips when it had been Jude with wide eyes grinning. She closed in on him and jumped into his arms as they began to kiss. He spun her around as the kiss continued until he stood her back on the ground. Tom held her face and their noses collided gently, "I'll call you as soon as I land."

"I'm looking forward to it." He hushed against her lips.

Then they heard a whistle, "He Jude, I know it's hard saying bye to lord Squinty frown but this plane is gonna head out!"

The couple just laughed, "Coming Spied." She turned to Tom and kissed him one last time before walking away. Just the fact she had made the effort to come back and kiss him one more time had literally made his day. He felt confident again. As he watched Jude enter the gate he waved timidly with a small smile at her and she returned the favor. All that was on his mind was marrying her as soon as she was back because although he realized before it hit him even harder today that he could not spend his life without her.


	5. Chapter 5: Big Cities

**Chapter Five: Big Cities**

Jude ran off the stage with the widest smile she had ever conjured. She had just finished her first ever concert in the United States and boy was she excited. The first thing to hit her was the warmth of arms wrapped around her slim frame. Her head bowed to rest on the man's shoulder.

"I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks Spiedy!" Jude excited as she pulled back from him.

"The loaders are gonna take everything down, we can just chill in the bus if you want? We have to head out tonight to get to New York or else I'd say let's explore bean town." Spied rested an arm on Jude's shoulder as they walked towards the dressing rooms.

"Let me just change." Jude beamed as her hand met the doorknob, "Meet me on the bus with champagne!"

"Ah a little bubbly to celebrate. Tour is already bringing out the alcoholic in you." Spiederman joked as she playfully pushed him away so she could enter the door.

As the door shut on his face she called out, "Fuck you Vincent."

He laughed to himself before walking away to find Liam and get his hands on a bottle for Jude. Back in the dressing room just dropped her dress immediately wanting to be in something more comfortable. She was slightly disappointed that the first after party was on the bus, but she knew New York would be a different story. She knew that they had already rented a section of a club out and Jude had to admit she was very excited. Touring was a once in a lifetime opportunity and it's meant to be crazy and she was desperately ready for crazy. Jude eagerly pulled out her phone after retiring into a pair of skinny grey sweats and her Elvis crop top. She left her hair in its curls because there was no way of relaxing it without the help of her hair stylist, Melanie.

The ringing to her ears was causing her heart to beat fast. It was their first night apart and she was unsure of how he was to answer. When she parted from him they were perfect, but she knows how quickly Tom's mood changes and how ready his friends were to take him out. The phone was picked up after a few rings and when she heard, "Baby girl," all of her worries fled her body.

"Hey babe!" She exclaimed into the phone, happy to hear his very calm and sober voice.

"So how was Boston? How was the show? You going out? Boston is nuts!" She started to giggle at his ramble of questions.

"It was amazing and this city is beautiful, but we have to head to New York right away." She stated into the phone as she made her way from backstage to the bus, "but tomorrow night Liam has a club rented out for the after party!"

She wasn't sure what to expect from the excitement to party she portrayed, "I'm sorry you don't get to experience Boston babe, but New York will certainly make up for that."

She was almost taken back by his kindness and genuine want for her to have fun. Jude knew this was his idea from the beginning, but there was always room to wonder if it was some master plan to see what she would do with freedom to later be thrown in her face. "Yeah so I've heard. I'm really excited. Tonight I'm just gonna be drinking a little champagne on the bus with the crew."

Jude heard another male voice coming from the other side of the phone, "Chaz says hey Jude." She heard an _ow _come from Tommy, "I was told to say it should be sang as if it were the Beatles. He says he knows how you love that." She heard the boys chuckling.

"Oh hi Chaz." Jude added wondering what the pair could possibly be up to.

"So I'm going to a club opening tonight." Tom spoke cautiously as if he too were scared to break free, "Chaz, Kwest, Portia, and practically all of G Major is going and no one wanted me to be moping around and staring at pictures of you so-"

She cut him off quickly with a gentle tone, "Tommy it's fine you don't need to explain. Have fun babe."

"I'll try girl." He cooed into the fun, "Alright I got to go. Have fun with the little bus party. I'll talk to you tomorrow if you aren't too busy. I love you Jude."

She was half taken back by his shortness but let it go. It was only the first night of tour and she'd have to get used to their lives being completely separate, "I love you too Tommy." She responded before hearing the click of his phone.

Jude fell on to the bus's leather couch as she sighed and blowing a piece of hair from her face. Her make-up artist, Saundra, sat besides her pushing a glass into her hand filled with the alcoholic beverage of their choice. "Relax superstar you rocked tonight and tomorrow is going to be absolutely insane!"

She took a sip of her drink facing Saundra as Spied took a seat across from with a beer, "I know, I wish we could've done something tonight." Jude admitted, wishing more now than before that she had found Tom was going out.

"Jude New York is going to knock you on your ass." Spied commented, "You should be thankful we ain't getting wild tonight."

"What ever are you implying Spiedy?" Jude asked as she gulped down her drink, "That I couldn't keep up?"

"From what I know you ain't much of a drinker Harrison." Spied joked and Saundra started to laugh.

"Jude, don't listen to the little boy." She added nudging Jude's shoulder, "I've been on a few tours and New York may be a lot to handle, but you're a real spitfire. We are about to have a blast!"

"I can't wait!" Jude explained looking between the pair, "And I will certainly be able to handle it!"

Fast forward to midnight in New York, Saundra dancing on the V.I.P. bar in the back of the club accompanied by Jude. People behind the velvet ropes and security guards are chanting Jude. Although she was only eighteen that never stopped a celebrity from getting drunk at a club and luckily this place was discreet and there were strict policies about coming in if you expected to be hanging around such fame. This was a well-established New York celeb hang. Paparazzi killed to know what happened behind these doors, although stories always surfaced there was never any proof. Something Jude should be very thankful for right now. Jude and Saundra pulled up Melanie to join them as they clinked glasses and continued to get down. Spied stood in the corner resting against a circular table shaking his head with laughter. He had never seen Jude so completely belligerent in his life and he also noted never seeing her having this much fun before. Spiederman felt a vibrating in his pocket and he pulled out his phone. He almost choked on his hard drink when he saw Tom's face plastered to the screen, why was he calling him? Spied rushed to the bathroom, which wasn't the least bit quiet, but a lot less loud than being directly in the club.

Cautiously he answered, "Uh hey dude."

"Don't tell Jude I called." Tom sighed with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Sure thing, so what's up?" Spied asked with curiosity racking his brain.

"I didn't want to call Jude. I know she had this big after party tonight. I just want to make sure she's being safe you know. I didn't want to be bothersome." Tom spoke truthfully trying not come off as over protective.

"Jude's pretty drunk, but her only dancing partners are women I can assure you." Both men chuckled over the phone, "But shoot her a text or something man she isn't gonna think you are bothering her."

"I don't know maybe I will." Just before continuing his talking he heard a girl's voice echo through the phone.

"_Spiedy this is the girl's bathroom."_ He heard a slurred loud voice and instantly knew it was Jude.

"Dude, I mean Jude, I'm on the phone." Spied retorted while Tom listened amused.

"Oh who is it? A girl!" Jude yelled, "Hi Spiedy's girlfriend!" She screeched into the phone, which caused Tom to fill with laughter.

"Jude I don't have a girlfriend." He laughed, "It's actually a certain star's boyfriend I know."

Jude's eyes widened and she ripped the phone from her hand, "Tommy! Tommy is that you?"

Tom laughed and smiled against the phone, "yeah Jude you caught me."

"Oh Tommy it's so great to hear from you." Her words were slurred and her drunkenness was overly apparent, "I meant to call but the drinks they just wouldn't stop coming!"

"It's okay girl, I didn't want to damper your night I just wanted to make sure you weren't dead or anything." He chuckled finding her current inebriation to be comical.

"Why does no one think I can drink?" Jude complained, "I can drink a lot and be fine!"

"I'm sure you can rock star, but I'm gonna let you go babe."

"Okay Tommy, but remember I love you so much. Like do you know how much?" Jude hiccupped into the phone, "So much that I think if my love were to be like an actual real thing you know that you can touch, well I'd think it'd be it's own galaxy with like planets and solar systems and things."

Tom couldn't help but laugh and feel so loved all at once, "I love you just as much Harrison. Now go have fun baby girl."

"Bye Quincy bear!" The phone hung up and he was left chuckling wondering where the new name had come from. He turned around on his chair to face Kwest at the studio, "She's definitely having a great time."

Kwest nodded his head smiling, "See man I told you, should've called her cell to begin with."

Tom shrugged his shoulders placing the phone in his pocket, "I know." He felt a sense of relief wash over his body knowing that he was still on Jude's mind even when she was so far away, "I think this is gonna be easier than I assumed. I was worried the alcohol would make her forget me, but it seems it only makes her love me more."

Kwest laughed, "You got nothing to worry about. Aren't you planning on stopping in at one of her shows in a few weeks anyway?"

"Yeah, I can't believe how much I already miss her." Tom admitted with a slight groan, "I thought I'd at least make it a week but as soon as that plane departed a piece of me went with her. I feel that piece gone so strongly and it's weird."

"It's called being in love Tom." Kwest chuckled patting his back.

"Yeah yeah yeah." Tom settled further into his chair, "I just can't wait until that girl is my wife."

Kwest smiled warmly at Tom shaking his head, "Soon enough T, soon enough."

Back at the club Jude was rested against the stall in the bathroom feeling very emotional; a side affect of her alcohol consumption. Her heart was heavy after hearing Tom's voice and it made her want to become sober again desperately. She actually wished the conversation would have continued and she could feel the battle in her head between a sober self and an intoxicated self. She knew that alcohol had its way of creeping through one's thought process and washing up emotions that linger. It wasn't until she heard Tom's voice tonight that she realized a piece of her had been missing. It wasn't until it dawned on her he was genuinely being an amazing and accepting boyfriend that she missed him so much already. Her drunken figure melted to the ground and the thought of being on a dirty bathroom floor didn't bother her the slightest. Spied sighed as he watched Jude's mood turn entirely and against his better judgment he sat beside her.

"You ok dude?"

Jude shook her head and feeling overwhelmed with emotions began to cry, "I know it's the alcohol making me feel worse, but it's been two days and I miss him."

Spied just started to laugh lightly to himself, "Lord Squinty Frown misses you too Jude. He called me so he wouldn't have to hassle you and he doesn't seem mad at all. There's no need to cry my lady, he'll be waiting for your return."

Jude sighed as she tried to keep the tears back, "I know. I just didn't think it'd be this hard ya know. We've been apart for more than two days, but I think the pain lies in the fact that I can't just see him or kiss him even if my life depended on it. When we wouldn't see each other at home it was comforting knowing how close he was to me, it was okay not to see him because I knew if I really wanted to I could." She rested her head on her companion's shoulder, "But if I really wanted to see him right now I couldn't. And even if he tried really hard to visit it would still take a few days of planning and there would be no immediate satisfaction." Jude lifted her head up and shook it lightly, "I think I'm sobering myself." She giggled as she sucked up her sobs and wiped her eyes, "I think I'm also overly obsessed with my fiancé."

Spied heard the words and almost didn't believe it and it took Jude a few seconds to realize the name she addressed Tom as. Her hands flew to her mouth and Spied looked to her with wild confusion, "Fiancé?"

"Fuck." She hushed under her breath, "I'm not very good at keeping secrets."

'Wow, just wow." Spied looked in front of him in shock, "You're eighteen and touring and you have a fiancé? That's heavy dude."

Jude bobbed her head also staring directly in front of her, "Do you think I'm absolutely looney?"

Spied chuckled putting his arm around Jude's shoulders, "I think both of you are a little over the deep end but," he paused to face Jude with a reassuring smile, "that's what love does to you. It's irrational and completely chaotic and people may not understand, but the only ones who really need to are you two."

Jude smiled biting her lip as she once again rested her head on Vincent, "When did you become so smart?"

"Alcohol my lady, alcohol. Some of us get wise while some of us," he nudged at her, "become giant babies."

Jude playfully punched Spied and then looked around, "let's get out of here."

Spied nodded his head standing up. He dropped his hand to help pull Jude off the floor, "Tour bus my lady?"

"Yes Spiedy, tour bus." Jude yawned as they made their way out of the bathroom.

Leaving the club Jude was completely satisfied with her night and her life. She made it through her first tour party with out fighting with Tom and not puking, both of which were a total surprise. As she stepped on to the tour bus she looked at her phone and realized it had already reached 3am. She forced herself to change and crawled into her bottom bunk. Her eyes stared at her phone as she swiped through pictures of her and Tom; she even found the one they both first took together. It was the picture of Jude cheesing and Tommy just staring at her, he was giving her _her look._ A smile placed across her lips and she attached the image to a text that said '**I love you Tommy Q, and I miss you. Goodnight baby. Xoxoxo.'**

She applied the phone to her charger and rolled over knowing that when she awoke she'd be in Philadelphia ready for another night of drinking and missing her one and only love.


	6. Chapter 6: West Virginia

**Chapter Six: West Virgina**

Three weeks passed and Jude was on her way to Florida. She was already falling into drinking every night, but it hadn't caused much animosity between her and Tom. All they really focused on when they talked was how much they missed one another. The tour became more stretched out with more breaks after the initial three. She spent a few days in Philadelphia diving in the underground music culture and odd bars. Her favorite stop so far had been West Virginia because it seemed it was filled with teens such as herself and everyone just wanted to have fun. Although her stay there was filled with drinking, hanging with fans, she had to admit the very few nights spent there were a total blur. This was something she at first didn't mind, until the very morning of her Tampa Bay performance. Her phone began ringing at 9am, a time she was not accustomed to waking up to. It was Darius.

"Jude!" The stern voice startled her and she tried pushing back her groggy tone.

"Yes D?"

"Have you seen the pictures?" Darius asked in a demanding tone, "Jude this isn't a good look for you!"

Jude had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, "Pictures?"

"Talk National: Pop Princess Jude Harrison earned her bad girl title after drunk photos leaked. Sources say that since tour has stared she's been hitting the bottle hard. Pictures above show an intoxicated Ms. Harrison sprawled on a bed in West Virginia. Apparently she drank with the wrong crowd." Darius read word for word the small snippet he had laying on his desk.

Jude felt her reality crashing, she knew those nights were too unknown. "Are the pictures bad?"

"What do you mean Jude? Do you not remember? Do I have to pull you off tour?" Darius's voice became more angered.

"No D! I'm sorry. I was just having fun!" Jude pleaded as she crawled out of her bunk to try and find the article.

"A little too much fun." Darius remarked, "I feel Tom's reaction will be punishment enough, but if this happens again you're tour in ending for rehab. I can't have my underage artists messing up my control with the States."

Jude sighed heavy into the phone thinking of Tommy's reaction. She didn't even know what the pictures portrayed let alone how they even happened. "I'm sorry D, it won't happen again. I promise."

There were no other words spoken before the phone went dead. Jude groaned in agitation as she walked towards the front of the bus. Everyone besides Liam was sleeping so she sat beside him.

Liam turned to Jude, "Darius has brought the article to my attention." He handed Jude the pdf. Version on his iPhone, "Apparently I need to keep a better eye on you Ms. Harrison."

Jude looked at the pictures and knew instantly how Tom would feel. She felt violated trying to piece together how the night had happened. There was in a crop top that worked its way up to where you could see the bottom lace of her bra. Unfortunately for Jude, the only bottoms she was wearing were here underwear boy shirts. Her hair was tangled and wet as it draped over her face. She began to feel nauseas. She desperately needed to remember that night. Jude abruptly handed Liam the phone and began to feel her eyes burn. "I don't even remember this."

Liam nodded his head while locking his phone and placing it in his pocket. "I should really be scolding you Ms. Harrison, but something tells me you'll learn lesson."

Jude took a deep breath before standing up, "Do you think Tommy will hate me?"

"Did you cheat?" Liam questioned thinking back to the little Jude was wearing.

"No Liam, never. That night in West Virginia I was with Speed and Mel, Shauna stayed behind. They probably know." Jude bowed her head and began to walk, but Liam cleared his throat.

"Mr. Quincy won't be happy, but keep your head up." Jude nodded her head before walking to Spied's bunk to wake him up.

She felt her phone in her hoodie pocket go off again and she knew it was Tommy, but Jude refused to answer until the story of her night was completely pieced together, "Spied I need your help wake up please."

By 10:30am Mel, Spiederman, and Jude sat around the tour bus's table looking at the various articles and pictures. She has yet to talk to Tommy, but received his multiple voicemails to call him immediately and text messages about how he needed her to 100% honest.

"I remember why you're not wearing anything." Melanie admitted as she stared at the pictures, "That's the night we were all dared to jump in the hotel's pool!"

Jude's eyes widened as the images flashed back into her head, "Oh my god. I remember! I refused to jump in with my pants on because I didn't want to ruin the leather!"

"Dudes I remember that!" Spied exclaimed, "We were with some random fans who happened to be at the same place as us. There were a few dudes there and I remember some babes. You jumped in with all of the girls!"

"Holy shit that's right!" It became clearer of the night that played out. She remembered waking up to Liam yelling it was time to get back to the bus and her being still drenched. "I just don't know when these pictures were taken."

"We all went back to the suite we had and just hung out. One of those scumbags probably just took the pictures after we all knocked out." Melanie added to the story.

"I should've been more protective." Spied frowned thinking that he could of changed it.

"No Spiedy it's not your fault." Jude let out in a whisper as she stared at her phone, "He's not gonna believe me."

Spied put an arm around Jude holding her close, "We'll all tell him what happened Jude. You didn't do anything wrong. You just went swimming in some clothes!"

"At least it wasn't a thong!" Mel chirped trying to lighten the situation.

Just then the bus came to a stop in front of their hotel. Jude was to spend one week in Florida because she was performing two shoes in the area, and was given a special guest package for Disney World apart of the tour. When they pulled up to the hotel Jude had determined she was going to finally call Tommy, something she was avoiding. Her head hung low as she walked off the bus, but to her surprise she noticed the familiar man standing in front of the doors with his arms crossed.

Her breath hitched and her eyes could not believe what she was seeing, "Tommy?"

"Jude." He spoke harshly as he walked towards her, "I wanted to surprise you since I knew you'd be here for a week. Everything was planned before I saw-"

"Tommy I'm so sorry it's really not what it looks like!" Jude proclaimed as she stood before him with tears in her eyes.

"Let's talk inside, where there isn't cameras." Tom spoke in a demanding tone as he adverted his eyes to their surroundings.

Once checked in and in their personal suite Tom had set up he sat down at their dining table with hands holding his head up. Jude sat across from him looking to her feet through the glass top.

"I know you're on tour and you're allowed to have fun but Jude," Tom paused letting out a frustrated breath, "you're running around without pants on? You're sprawled out on a bed, what am I supposed to think?"

"I know it looks bad, but Spied and Mel the makeup girl and I went swimming. We met some fans at our hotel and we just got a little drunk you know. I was passed out in the room I didn't know anyone was taking pictures." Jude was trying to make her sentences clear, but she couldn't hold back her tears, "I'm sorry I'm a dumb drunk."

Tom stood up from his chair and walk towards Jude. He grabbed her arms gently pulling her up so he could embrace her. She rested his head to her shoulders softly crying as he placed a hand through his hair, "You must've been so scared when you saw those photos." Tom had become completely soft and couldn't help but give in as soon as her tears and remorse surfaced. He saw the genuineness in her eyes and the heartbreak in her words. For once Tom knew it was time to mature and give Jude the benefit of the doubt.

Jude sniffled louder, "No I can't imagine what went through your head."

"I thought I lost you." Tom admitted feeling his own heartstrings being tugged on, "I thought the worst Jude. I thought you spent the night with some guy, with some pig who-"

"Tommy I would never do that." Jude stepped back to look into his eyes and bring her sincerity into play, "No one would let that happen."

"Liam and Spied should be making sure jerks like that aren't hanging around." Tom said as he clenched his fists and gritted his teeth.

Jude saw the anger rise once again and she placed her hand on his chest, "Nobody is to blame, but me."

Tom melted under her caring touch and let his fingers fall, "Just please keep your pants on when you drink."

Jude wiped her tears and nodded her head with a light giggle, "I think I'm gonna lay off the drinking a little."

"Oh no Harrison, I did not come here to sober sally it up with you. I wanna live a little." Tom smirked as he pulled Jude closer to him, "Maybe we can even make an exception to my no pants rule, but only around me."

Her smile grew, "I can't believe how cool your being."

"I'm not gonna lie Jude, at first I went ape shit. I saw the paper on my flight here and as soon as I landed I was on the phone with Kwest. You should thank him; he convinced me I needed to hear your side first." Tom grazed her cheek with his hand, "He told me to think deep down inside and ask myself if I thought after everything we've been through you'd really do that to me."

Jude bit her lip as she met the depths of his blue orbs with hers, "And what was the answer?"

"I just couldn't fathom it being true. I put our past in our past and really thought about it. I just had to hear you out." Tom closed to space between their lips to place a kiss.

She pulled away after the gentle touch, "I love you so much Quincy; you are so amazing."

"Jude I missed you so much I didn't want to spend this week hating you. After this week there's only 7 weeks left." Their foreheads were resting on another with smiles spread across their lips.

"Then we're getting married." Jude hushed.

Tom's grin grew even bigger, "Oh yes, that's right. I almost forgot," he joked.

Jude pretended to be in shock and slapped his chest with a mock frown. Tom quickly scooped her up like he had done their first night together. He threw her over his shoulders just like their first night in LA. "Put me down Quincy!"

"Jude, it's not very nice to hit people!" Tom explained as he carried her towards the bedroom, "I'm afraid to say it Harrison, but you deserve a punishment."

Jude let out a small scream as he dropped her to the bed. He crawled between her legs and his face hover over hers. "What kind of punishment?"

Tom watched as she bit her lip and growled in anticipation, "You don't understand what a long couple weeks it has been." His lips met her neck feverishly as he kissed his way up her jawline until he finally met her lips. When their tongues danced the hungriness for each other's body was coursing through their veins.

They acted animalistic as Tom eagerly discarded Jude of her sundress. His eyes were drawn to her beautiful body in awe as Jude's hands worked at his short sleeve button up. As soon as it met the floor she pulled him back down to capture his leads. She needed him desperately. Their bodies ached for each other as he grinded himself against her inner core. Tom began to trail kisses down Jude's breasts leading down her stomach. He licked above her lace hem before removing her underwear. Without hesitation his lips devoured her on spot. His tongue worked her walls as his thumb pressed roughly on her clit. Jude cried out as she clenched her legs around his head. Her breathing was sporadic, "God Tommy!"

His tongue worked magically against her wet insides and he wiggled his thumb until her body convulsed underneath him. The warm liquids rushed out and he drank up as if he had been parched for weeks. Jude pulled him by his hair to come up her body. Their faces tongues met again as Tom position himself on his knees between her legs so that Jude could unbutton his khaki shorts. He managed to work them down to his ankles with the help of Jude's hands and he simply kicked them off, along with his boxers. He positioned Jude's legs, "I need to be inside of you so badly."

Jude whimpered after his words and her hands grabbed his throbbing member. His head flew back in pleasure and he quivered from her touch. She stroked gently before placing in at her walls. He followed her motion and pushed inside of her with his hands resting beside her head to keep himself up. Jude moaned as he pushed in and out, "God I missed this." She said between moans and breaths.

Her legs wrapped tightly around him and instead of fucking her senselessly he dropped lower to capture his lips. He wanted to make love to the woman he loved, he needed to show her that everything between them was still perfect. He needed her to always remember their love. Her body tangled around his as he pushed in and out slowly. She loved the feeling of their bodies together. Electricity filled her body at his touch, let alone bare chests rubbing. He pumped everything into her, but was losing control of his pace as he found his release coming. Jude circled her hips under him until both could not hold it in anymore. Tom collapsed inside her with his head resting on her shoulder. Jude was still feeling convulsions from her orgasm as his dick moved inside her still, like a heartbeat. "I love you." He let out breathlessly as he rolled beside her.

She turned to him to hold him tightly, "I love you too Tommy."

His hands wiped the sweat from her face and he placed a kiss on her nose, "I'm so happy we're mature about these things now."

Jude laughed at their past problems, "If this was a year ago," she paused, "actually I don't wanna know what would've went down if this was a year ago."

Tom added another chuckle as he pulled her to rest on his chest. His hands rubbed up and down her back, "We really changed so much."

"I'm proud." Jude mumbled but her eyes were shutting. She was worn out from all the stress of the morning and her lack of sleep the night before. Tom watched as she breathed on top of him. His hand ran through her hair again and he kissed the top of her forehead. He had let the tabloids go so easily and he was actually happy about it, but if it happened again he wouldn't now what to do. Tom took a moment to hope and pray she would stay calm. Although they made up quickly and he was willing to let it go, those worries of her urge to be young, wild, and free came back. He knew he could not lose this, he could not lose her.


	7. Chapter 7: Insecurities

**Chapter Seven: Insecurities**

Jude woke up in Tom's arms feeling better than ever. Last night's performance had been killer and only being half way through the week brought her much joy. Every second she spent back in his arms was another reason she knew they were meant to be. It was almost unhealthy how much they had missed each other. Jude began to drag her nails down Tom's chest lightly causing him to fidget under her touch.

"Tommy." She whispered as her fingers continued to dance on his skin. A loud groan released from his lips and she giggled, "Wake up silly."

Tom's eyes opened and as soon as he saw his fiancé's smile a wide grin played across his face, "Since when do you wake up before me Harrison?"

"Since I don't want to waste a moment we have left together." Jude poked his nose playfully before kissing his cheek.

"I agree to get up, but only if you take a shower with me." Tom wiggled his eyebrows at the end of his sentence causing Jude to nudge his shoulder, "Please babe."

Jude pulled herself from his arms standing up. She began to walk towards the bathroom of their suite. Before disappearing she turned back to Tom with her hands at the bottom of her oversized t-shirt, "What're you waiting for Quincy?" She teased as she discarded the shirt and slipped into the bathroom in only a pair of underwear. He eagerly jumped from bed and made his way to the bathroom quickly.

Later that day the couple was lying out by the pool soaking in the sun. Jude wore a large floppy white sun hat to shade her face accompanied by a large pair of circular sunglasses. Tom was relaxing beside her with a pair of aviators. Suddenly Jude stood to stretch and without warning Spiederman came up behind her, lifting her completely off the ground and throwing her into the pool. Tom sat alert whipping off his glasses watching Spied follow in behind her. They began to laugh and splash each other, which had made Quincy feel oddly uncomfortable. He watched the love of his life frolic in a pool smiling wide. It's not that he was necessarily worried about a romantic relationship between the pair, but it was more so watching her interact so playfully with another man. What if she had acted like this with other men who didn't know the boundaries? Who didn't know him? Seeing how happy it made her to joke around so freely with another man conflicted him. He wasn't sure if it was that simple underlying doubt that always toyed with his mind or if the fear was real. He tried shaking it as Jude pulled herself out of the water and trying to ring out her hat. She sat on the end of Tom's lounge chair and flicked water on him.

The cool water on his unsuspecting self caused an annoying groan to release and Jude tilted her head, "Don't be such a baby!"

"Forgive me for not playing childish games." Tom scoffed putting his aviators back on.

A deep frown settled on Jude's face and she scooted further up his chair. She placed a soft kiss on his cheek, "Don't be a Mr. Grumpy pants."

Normally her cute innocent words would bring a smile to his face, but it only reminded him more of how young she was. It made him wonder if she needed something he couldn't get back, a more youthful soul. "Jude not now, okay?" Part of him knew he was being irrational; his bad mood had appeared from practically nowhere. But the other half was justifying his actions.

She stood up crossing her arms with a huff, "Tom we're supposed to be enjoying this time together."

"You seem to be enjoying playing in the pool with my ex intern." Tom asserted as he swung his legs to sit up on the chair.

Jude rolled her eyes, "Aren't we passed jealousy of Spied?"

"Aren't you old enough to not play stupid games?" Tom asked irritated, how dare she say he was jealous?

Jude let out a frustrated laugh, "Sorry Tom for living a little and playing around. I wasn't going to freak on Spied for trying to have fun." She picked up her towel off of her own chair; "Stop acting like such an old man for once." Then she stormed off leaving Tommy completely dumb struck. Did it really escalate that fast? Some stupid fight over a nonsense pit in his stomach had led to her rushing away and calling him one thing he feared the most.

Tom finally showed up to the room that night completely belligerent. He had indulged his emotions into whiskey at the pool bar followed by the lobby bar. Jude shot out of her seat at the dining table where she had been sitting and worrying with Spiederman. She rushed over to Tom and could smell the liquor on his breath.

She laughed sarcastically, "Doesn't take Tom Quincy long to fall into old habits. Get into a fight and resolve it with booze! How mature of you Tommy?"

Spied went to stand up, "That's my cue to leave!"

But Tom was not having it. He brushed passed Jude with his finger pointing in aggression at Spiederman, "You! You are not leaving until you tell me what your obsession is with my fiancé!"

"What are you talking about?" Spied asked in confusion as he looked between Jude and Tom.

"You've been drooling over her since day one. You get her all to yourself on the tour bus. You guys drink together and the pool today? You two were practically on top of each other naked!" And so the insecurities were unleashed into the room as Tom's drunken state had his mind thinking illogically.

"You have no fucking clue what you are saying right now Tom." Spiederman said harshly as he walked towards him. Jude ran up to the pair but Spied through his hand up to warn her to step back, "Maybe if you were a better boyfriend you wouldn't be so insecure!"

Tom laughed in his face causing the Whiskey stench to linger, "I'm the best boyfriend Jude could ever have!"

Jude was slightly irritated at the comment. Was he saying she could never do better? So she stood silently with her arms crossed watching the scene play out, "Oh really Quincy? How about all the times you broke her heart? All the times you cheated? How about fucking her sister? That was great of you!"

"We weren't dating then!" Tom spit out coldly as his breath quickened and his heart pounded.

"I'm sure Jude loves that excuse!" Spiederman shouted in his face, "You love Jude so much, but yet accuse her of getting with me while your engaged? Bravo Tom, you're stupider than you fucking look! You come all the way here to get drunk and sulk when you have a beautiful fiancé who is loving and stuck through your bullshit instead of being by her side and making her happy. That doesn't sound like a great boyfriend to me!" Jude bowed her head listening to what Spiederman choked out. She saw the anger rising in the room but she couldn't interject. Maybe some of what he said was true, "You think you're the best thing for her but all you do is hurt her. So you've been on a good streak, but here's where the bad streak starts and when it's bad Quincy it's real bad with you two. How long will this one last Tom? Huh? Maybe you fuck another receptionist?"

"You better watch your fucking mouth!" Tom was not ready to hear the faults he was not proud of.

"You are a drunk mess. Before you do any more damage to your relationship because of your delusions and doubts go to bed and think," Spied spoke more calmly trying to bring the situation down.

Tom picked up on his fiancé's quietness and turned to her, "You're really gonna let this punk talk to me like this?"

Jude bit her lip not sure what to say, "Tommy I-"

"No I get it. Spied is your knight in shining armor rescuing you from the big bad Tom Quincy. Well don't worry Jude I'll leave you two to your fairytale. I'm leaving tomorrow morning." He made an effort to push past Spiederman as he rushed into bedroom.

Jude looked to Spied, "Just go please."

"If it gets worse please call me Jude," his heart ached to watch this happen.

She nodded her head before trailing into the bedroom. Tom was busy throwing his clothes in his suitcase and huffing around the room. "Tommy you're drunk can we talk about this tomorrow?"

Tom laughed manically with an evil look on his face, "Tomorrow I will be gone."

"Tommy this isn't fair. You never opened up to me about all of this. I didn't know Spied was bothering you, I didn't know your insecurities were eating away. Give me a chance to fix that Tommy, please don't be irrational. We promised we would talk things over and you're just running away again." Jude was now sobbing with tears streaming down her face and shaking as she tried approaching Tom.

He brushed her hands away from him, "Jude these insecurities can't be talked out. I can't change that I'm older than you. I can't change I had so much life experience and that I'm ready to settle down-"

"I'm ready too Tommy." She tried pleading.

Tom pointed a finger to her head, "You just think you are Jude. But give it time and you'll be saying how you wished you wouldn't have rushed into a marriage. You'll be telling people I'm boring and then you'll cheat or worse leave!"

"Tommy that's not true-"

"Jude you said it yourself this morning I'm old! I'm washed out Jude. You are gonna be in your mid twenties when I'm thirty? You're gonna be this big rock star Jude, you're gonna have so many other men fighting for you and I won't be able to compete." He ducked his head down realizing his own fears had actually torn him apart.

"What happened to thinking you're the best for me?" Jude let out between heavy sobs.

"I was just trying to make myself feel better, but even I know that's a lie." Tom looked to Jude with such sincerity and aggression in his eyes that it hurt her, "You're too young. You already proved that all you want to do is party and live your life, my suspicions aren't out of nowhere Jude."

Jude approached him, as her crying only got worse, "That's not true at all. You don't mean that Tommy, you're just drunk. Can we please just go to bed baby please? We can talk tomorrow."

He watched the tears run down her face and he pulled her into his arms. No matter what his mind was saying his heart couldn't watch Jude cry like that. Tom gently brought them to the bed with no words spoken and held her tightly resting a hand in her hair. The sobs stopped eventually and she fell into an exhausted slumber, but Tom lay awake. Even in his sobering state he thought of everything that Spied said and backed up by his own beliefs in his head he came to the conclusion the best the way for Jude to be free, was to have real freedom. He thought his love was too suffocating and he was tired of breaking her down.

When Jude woke up that morning there was an empty space in the hotel bed and his suitcase was nowhere to be found. She let her body drop back to the bed and her tears resurfaced from last night._ How did things go bad so quickly? _It wasn't the first time she questioned this, and she wondered if it'd really be the last.Jude looked to her finger and stared at the ring Tom had given her. It took all of her will power to take it off and place it on the nightstand before burying her face in the pillow and screaming. It was a breakdown.


	8. Chapter 8: It's a Breakdown

**Chapter Eight: It's a Breakdown**

**Jude Harrison Breaks Down on Stage in Florida**

**Jude Harrison Dumped! Sources Say Her Eye Candy Slash Producer Had Enough**

**Jude Harrison Spotted Out Partying With Blonde Mystery Man**

**Jude Harrison Caught In V.I.P. Snorting Cocaine **

**Jude Harrison Cancels Denver Show After Alleged Drug Overdose**

The past month the tabloids were on frenzy. Jude's breakdown had been a lot worse than anyone could have ever expected. It didn't help that no one could convince Tom to even talk to her. Anyone who could get in touch with him was given quick statements on how she is better off. Although he had chosen this for them he still cringed at every article Jude had been brought up in. If she wasn't crying on stage she was out partying with strangers, and if it wasn't strangers it was that god-forsaken Spiederman kid. Tom sat behind his desk at G Major rushing a hand through his hair while trying to sip at a steaming hot cup of coffee. He heard a knock on his door, but before any reply could be called out, a tall figure trudged into his office.

Tom's eyes were accompanied by bags hanging below, he appeared frustrated while resting his mug to the wood, "And what do I owe the pleasure Kwest?"

Since the breakup the strain on his best friendship had become tense ridden. Kwest was constantly pleading with him to reconsider Jude and Tom was in no mood to hear her name. "You see this?" Tom's eyebrows rose as Kwest threw a tabloid to his chest, "You really fucked her up didn't you?"

Tom adjusted the article in front of him and his lips mimicked the words on the page silently over and over, at least five times, "She overdosed?"

"Darius wants to call off her last leg of tour, send her to rehab. He says he needs to save face." Kwest explained while pacing his distanced friend's office, "Sadie is a mess man. I can't calm her down! Jude could have died and we all know why she's being reckless."

Kwest glared at Tom who just dropped his head to avoid confrontation, "She's being young and dumb."

"Because a certain someone called off their engagement?" Kwest's voice rang in irritation.

"I can't help-"

"Cut the crap T! This isn't what you want! Pull your head out of your ass!" Kwest shouted now flying his hands down to Tom's desk, "Wake up Tom. You fucked this up again because of your own stupid fucking delusions. You ruined a good thing and you destroyed her. So now Darius wants damage control."

"So she goes to rehab? She gets better and she moves on." Tom spoke flatly as if there was no care or worry in his tone.

"You don't get it man. You're the monster here. The tabloids, her family, and friends, they all blame you." Tom scoffed as he turned away with an enraged face, "Pretend all you want this isn't your fault Tom, but everyone here at G Major including Darius thinks there's only one solution."

Tom pushed his tongue to his top lip in frustration before clasping his hands together while gritting his teeth, "And what is that Kwest?"

"When Jude gets back from rehab she'll need a new producer," Tom nodded his head nonchalantly. Kwest just bellowed with rage, "And you will be suspended indefinitely."

Tom's eyes flew open and he stood up slamming his fists down, "This is fucking bullshit!" He flung his arms across the desk causing items to fly, "She's doing this on purpose! She wants pity! She doesn't care about me, she has Spiederman and her fans and apparently G Major too."

"You're real fucked up in the head if you think this is some sick act to make you look bad. You do that well enough on your own dick," Kwest blurted out before huffing his way out of Tom's office.

Tommy collapsed back into his computer chair in a resentment filled shock. He had given Jude this opportunity only to get his own life torn apart a year later. In Tom's mind, breaking up with Jude was the best thing to happen to her. Now she was free to be whoever and do whomever she wanted; something he was positive she deeply desired. He bent down to pull open his bottom desk drawer. Letting out a breath he pulled out a frame on which he let his fingers trickle down. His finger traced the shape of her smiling face staring back at him. It was a picture from the album release party; where she initially asked him on tour. After forcing his mind to escape the nostalgia he gripped the picture tighter before flinging it across the room in a mad craze. As the sound of the glass shattering resonated Tom's breathing picked up. His chest rose up and down strenuously and he bit his cheeks with intent to cause pain as his knuckles whitened. The anger built up so much that he could feel tears shed from his eyes and as he looked to the busted frame on the floor and the few pieces of glass lying over her face the sobs escaped. His hands clung to the magazine before he fell to the ground reading the title again, _Jude Harrison Cancels Denver Show After Alleged Drug Overdose. _Believe it or not this was the first time he cried since leaving her. He always did a good job putting on a brave face and shutting out his feelings. Up until now he was convinced that what he had done was for the best, up until Kwest threw facts in his face and an article that haunted his mind. Tom's once beautiful and innocent Jude was spiraling out of control and for once in the past months he was ready to the take the blame.

Spiederman sat beside Jude's hospital bed holding her hand in desperation. He had never been so scared in his whole life than the morning he went to wake Jude on the bus. He noticed an intolerable stench and how there was no response to her name being called. Reluctantly he shook her only to feel how cold she had become. Frantically he pushed her again screaming _Jude_, but nothing worked. There was light breathing, the only hope he had as he called 911. Now he sat next to her staring at her weak torso. Her eyes were open and she was completely aware of where and why she was in the hospital.

Spied noticed the tearstains and still wet patches. His thumb pressed lightly to her cheek, "You nearly gave me a heart attack Harrison."

"I'm sorry," Jude offered in a whisper.

"Never again, okay?" Spied choked out as Jude nodded her head _yes. _They placed their foreheads together as his hand still grasped hers tightly, "I'm gonna help you through this."

Once a few minutes passed Jude rested her head back to her pillow and pulled her hand away to hold to her stomach, "Has Tom tried calling at all?"

Spied was praying this question never arose, but here it was and it was extremely saddening to answer. "No Jude."

She rolled back her eyes trying to stop tears, "Oh."

Spied watched as she turned her face, but he swiftly captured it in his hands to stare into her watery orbs. "I'm sure he will Jude." It broke him completely to see someone he began to consider a best friend and even a sister figure this broken.

Hours passed and Jude had fell into a peaceful sleep. She was being looked after in the hospital for seventy-two hours before being shipped to a treatment center in California. Some of the doctors worried it was a suicide attempt but loved ones new better. Jude never meant to take too much she was just inexperienced. Spied had his head propped against the waiting room wall as he sat beside his blonde companion. Sadie arrived not too long ago in Denver to visit Jude. They both declared they would stay with her as long as they could. Both were barely asleep when the sound of shoes clicking rushed passed them. Spied's eyes flew open and he was in surprise when he saw who appeared before him. Sadie's eyes fluttered and her jaw dropped. The man bowed his head as he pulled off his sunglasses.

"Nice of you to finally show Tom," Sadie asserted crossing her arms. "We've begged for weeks for you to just talk with her!"

Tom sighed preparing his glasses in his t-shirt, "I'm here now."

"That's all that matters," Spied announced and Tom and Sadie turned to him in disbelief Spied would ever defend Jude's ex-fiancé. "She wouldn't have the strength to get better without a visit from him. You know that Sadie."

"You're right Spiederman," Sadie admitted as she turned to stare at Tom bitterly. "She needs closure so she can move on and learn to love herself without you."

Hearing how Jude needed to _move on_ burned his being, but he told himself he came here just to show respect and support. He had wanted to marry the girl not too long ago; of course he still loved her. It was only right he came to her side when she needed someone the most. But he convinced himself his purpose was to help Jude understand she's better off. He dreadfully made his way to her room, but was taken back by how angelic and peaceful she looked lying in the hospital bed attached to numerous machines. Tom walked slowly to the side of her bed and then just hovered. He watched her breathing and reminisced of a time where he couldn't wait to wake up beside her every day and see this very sight.

"What have I done," he hushed letting his hand lightly caress her frail and limp fingers resting beside her body.

The touch must've woken her senses because electricity sparked up her body and her eyes flung open, "Tommy?"

He took a step back pulling his hand away quickly, "I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I am now," she said shyly while biting her lip. She didn't want to admit it, but seeing him brought hope to her soul. Jude knew it was dangerous to feel this way, but she couldn't help it.

"Jude I came here to say stop beating yourself up. I'm not worth this stress. You are far better-"

"Off without you?" Jude finished his sentence coldly, "I'm tired of hearing that. I'm tired of you thinking you know what's best for me."

"I keep hurting you Jude." Tom fought back running his hands through his hair.

"Because you're stupid Tommy." Tom's head flew to glare at her and she stood her ground in a serious manner, "You are a moron."

"Jude."

"Don't Jude me. You know I'm right. You're scared and stupid." Jude asserted crossing her arms.

"I'm not the one overdosing in the hospital," Tom rebutted stepping closer to her.

"So maybe I'm stupid too? Isn't that all the more reason for us to be together?" Jude chirped, her eyes pleading Tom to just agree.

Tom let her words rack his brain, "Jude everyone hates me. They all blame me. Don't do this. You need-"

"To be with you." Jude begged reaching her hand out. She motioned for him to come closer, and as much as he wanted to resist he just couldn't. Her magnetic forces were causing him to hold her hand firmly as her eyes dug into his. "I don't care what anyone says Tommy. I need you."

"You don't need me Jude. You don't need anyone. You're strong and beautiful and independent. You just lost some of that in me and I can't let you do that to yourself." Tom wanted her to see so badly what he saw, but even in his hopes to get her to hate him he couldn't let go of her hand.

Jude squeezed his fingers, "I'm incomplete without you Tommy. These past months have been hell. Please, just give me a chance to fix this."

"Jude you don't understand! You did nothing wrong this is all my fault!"

"If it's your fault then why aren't you fighting for me? Why do I have to hold on? Why am I so broken?" Jude began to sob pulling him down to her.

He pushed himself away reluctantly, "You just haven't realized it yet."

"Realized what Tommy?" She asked with her a heart aching tone.

"It's time to move on." He spoke softly with his head down trying to fight his own tears.

Jude just shook her head firmly, "No Tom. No."

Suddenly a doctor walked in holding his clipboard. He looked at the pair in tears clearing his throat, "Ms. Harrison, I have some personal news. You may want to clear your company."

Jude shook her head, "Tommy please stay." He looked to Jude and then the doctor. He noticed how dismal the man appeared and it hit him that he needed to be here for Jude even if a part of him insisted this would only make things more complicated. As much as he wanted to let her go he still loved her deeply. As Jude's eyes remained on him he let his hand fall to hers again. She smiled lightly and he heard a small "Thank you," leave her lips. Moments like this made him fear he was to weak to follow through with any of his original plans on coming here; which scared him to death.

"I'm sorry to say this, but due to the overdose your ovaries became inhabitable. Ms. Harrison you lost the baby." 

Tom and Jude's eyes both widened and their hands held each other's painfully tight. "I was pregnant?" _This changed everything._


	9. Chapter 9: She Needs You

**Chapter Nine: She Needs You**

"How did this happen?" Tom exhausted sitting beside Jude's hospital bed with his head in his hands, "You were on birth control!"

Jude's tears were not faltering. They had just found out she was nearly 5 weeks pregnant meaning the conception happened during the Florida stay. With the excitement of tour and late night fiascos Jude was not aware of the momentary pause of her monthly visitor. She was so wrapped up in losing Tom she hadn't realized her body screaming at her. Morning sickness easily got confused with rough hangovers; "I was on tour Tom. I may have forgotten some nights but I always doubled up the next day."

"And you didn't think to tell me?" He asked in agitation. Finding out you were a soon to be father in the same breath of finding out your child is dead was one of the hardest things he ever had to comprehend and hear.

"Tommy I wasn't thinking properly I just missed you," Jude sobbed as she curled up on the bed. "It's not like it matters. We don't have to worry about something that's already gone."

Tom picked his head up and watched as Jude cried relentlessly into her own arms while in fetal position. The idea of having a baby had not crossed his mind at all before, but now it was rushing through him and consuming him. Would he have been ready? He wasn't sure, but he knew that he would have loved that baby with everything in him. Was it weird to say he did love the lost child between them without ever even knowing his or her existence right up until the death? Regardless of how odd it sounded, Tom knew the aching in his heart could only come from losing a loved one. "It's not fair. We didn't even have a chance."

"It's all my fault," she practically screamed in hysteria. "I just had to party every night. I just had to overdose. Dumb Jude, dumb dumb Jude." She was shaking uncontrollably, "I would've loved that baby Tommy even if it was unplanned."

Her lasts words were in a whisper and barely audible but it tugged at his heart as if she was shouting it to the stars. There were different waves of emotions rushing through his body. At first when he heard the news he immediately wanted to blame Jude, but guilt set in and he wanted to blame himself. Thoughts of fatherhood and missing out on a child ran rapid and reeked havoc on his already unstable mind. Thoughts of how it was all torn away in seconds, "No Jude it was my fault. If I just would've been stronger for the both of us. If I just could have pushed aside my own selfish insecurities you wouldn't of rebelled like that."

Jude brought her head from her knees, straightening out slowly, when she heard the sobs escape his mouth through each explanation. His hands were gripping tightly on the sides of her bed and his head was resting on the tops of his fingers. It was that moment it hit her that it could not possibly be either of their faults. Neither of them knew, how could they? Jude was sure if she would have kept her own-self stable she would've known and she would have never partook in the risky behavior. "It's not your fault," she soothed as her hand brushed through his hair.

Tom felt his hair rise on his arms and the chills throughout his body. Her touch was deeply missed. He let himself bask in her kindness before pulling up his head, "How can you say that Jude? We both know why you did the things you did."

"So I was upset Tommy? That doesn't excuse the things I did. I was irrational and it's not fair to point fingers. We were both stupid and we both didn't know." Jude confessed as the tears became further apart. "It's gonna take time to make sense of this all, but Tom all I know is I'm gonna need you here. There will be days where it gets hard and we will probably wanna blame something or someone, but we have to stick together."

"But D is putting you through rehab Jude, I can't be there. What am I supposed to do? How can I protect you?"

"I don't need to go to rehab Tommy, you know that as well as I do. We need to talk to him. I don't need to be sheltered by strangers; I need your comfort and support. I need my family and friends. I can't get sent away. I need Canada," Jude pleaded as her hand reached for his.

"When did you become the mature one?" Tom asked staring into her eyes as he allowed her hand to rest in his. Jude smiled lightly, but happiness was not something that would stay for long at the moment. "I will talk to D. I'll make this right."

"I believe in you," Jude spoke softly. "Can we just put aside our problems for now. I don't want to avoid them, I just think we can't be there for each other if we are focused on the negative."

Tom stood up and he pressed his hands down to the bed and looked back and forth, "Think there's enough room?"

Her eyes twinkled in affection as she nodded, "Always."

He gently made his way next to her being sure not hit or remove an IV or a machine. Tom wrapped his arms around Jude and she nuzzled her head directly into his chest. His fingers stroked through her blonde locks and his heart began to pound. "I missed you." He admitted shyly. No matter what his original plans to push her away were, they did not matter now. This was no time to be selfish.

"You don't know how good that is to hear." She picked up her head to have direct contact with his eyes, "I missed you so much."

His lips fell to her forehead and she noticeably melted into him. The tension had finally been lifted and she let herself give in to his charm because she knew being loved by Tom Quincy was one of the only ways she'd get through this. They must have fallen asleep in each other's embrace because when they were woken up a room full of familiar faces had their arms crossed with heavy glares.

Tapping her foot furiously Sadie was the first to speak, "So you give in just like that Jude? He broke you down completely and hasn't been here or talking to you in weeks and you just give in?"

"I wanted you to stay away from her!" Darius snarled while pointing at Tom, "You damaged my Queen of G Major, my top seller! That's why I suspended you!"

Tom went to protest, but quickly he watched his best friend, well possibly ex best friend, jump in. "T this isn't the time to play back and forth with Jude! You can't go from making her depressed to making her happy whenever you just feel like it! She isn't stable!"

Sadie and Darius went to chime in but Jude shot up, "Stop talking like I'm not here!" She yelled causing everyone to stiffen and stare at her wide-eyed, "I need Tom right now!"

"You do not need him Jude!" Sadie shouted stepping closer to the pair in the bed, "Don't let him brainwash you."

"Shut the fuck up Sadie!" Now everyone was scared to speak, Jude was clearly enraged. "Everyone thinks they know what's best for me, but the only one who knows what's best for me is me! I don't need rehab," Darius went to speak up but she threw up her finger, "I know I reacted badly to mine and Tom's split, but trust me I'm too scared to ever touch coke again. This morning I was informed of something that I honestly need everyone here for me, including Tom."

Tom squeezed Jude's hand tightly searching for confidence to speak up, "D the last place she needs to be is California away from the people who actually love and care for her."

"She needs to be away from you," Darius shot back bitterly. "You think you love and care for her? Look where she is!"

"D, I did this to myself. I forgave Tom, I had to." She would stand up for him until her last breath; Tom was still and would always be the love of her life, she just knew it. "We are both going through something actually and I would appreciate EVERYONE's support."

"The both of you?" Sadie asked in confusion as her hand found Kwest's. She suddenly felt as if the tone became gloomy.

Jude's head fell and Tom held her close, "We can wait if you aren't ready."

"No," Jude protested shaking her head, "It's best if we just get this out now."

"What's going on guys?" Kwest asked cautiously feeling his palm sweat against Sadie's. It had appeared they became an item over the time they spent trying to work on Tom and Jude's relationship. They bonded and found they knew exactly what one another needed to work, unlike the relationship they tried to mentor.

"I was pregnant," Jude's voice cracked as tears verged their presence. Darius, Sadie, and Kwest reacted equally in shock while letting out a loud breath. "And the baby wasn't as fortunate as me."

Instantly Sadie felt herself collapse into Kwest's arms in sobs. She could have possibly had a niece or nephew and just as fast as she could process that, she had to process the loss. "No," were the only words she was able to speak.

Tom began to get himself out the bed as he watched Darius put his head down. The whole room began to shed tears, even Darius. He had grown to look at Jude as a daughter; she was the pride and joy of G Major. He became too protective; he was willing to lose his best producer just to keep her safe. Now there was nothing to do to keep her safe from the cruel reality of losing your kin. He turned to the man he was once furious with and brought him into an embrace. No one ever thought the day would come where Tom Quincy cried like a baby in Darius Mills' arms. Jude looked around the room with blurry vision and soft sobs and in that moment she never felt so loved in her entire life.

Jude was sent home from Denver the next day. Darius held a press conference declaring that the West Coast portion of her tour has been delayed. Her parents, now aware, of Jude's situation surprisingly allowed her to rest at Tom's to recover. But of course not until they lectured Tom on having his last chance and to not disturb their relationship any further. Tom was feeling immense anxiety because he had to push his own insecurities and worries along with his grieving aside just to help the woman he loved. No matter how hard that is though, he would do it for Jude. He went from telling himself and everyone around that Jude was better off with out and will be happier to holding her close every night wondering if he'd let go she would disappear into the lights. She had seemed so strong in the hospital when in front of everyone, but in the midst of the night she'd wake up shaking and crying horrendously. Tom comforted her every night back to sleep feeling horrible for everything he had ever done to her. Jude was still shaken from her overdose and regretfully there were withdrawal symptoms. Her paranoia was through the roof and she constantly craved sleep and warmth. But to top it all off she was feeling grief and guilt. Her selfish break-up conditions had caused her baby to have never experienced life; it was gut wrenching.

Tom was called in for a meeting with Darius a week later so he left her in the care of Sadie for the morning. He was not even close to ready to return to work. Pulling up in front of G Major Tom sighed while pulling out his key and shutting off the engine. Tom wished every day he never brought Jude here in the first place. This industry had tainted her; he had tainted her. He found himself standing before Darius Mills' intimidating oak doors. The knocks were followed by the acceptance of entry. Tom wearingly took a seat being cautious of his boss' facial expressions.

"You know I was dead set on firing you and getting you as far away from that girl as possible," Tom's face sank at Darius' sincere tone. "I thought you had destroyed the light, the spark G Major needed. Her potential is sky rocketing and I thought you tore it from her." Tom swallowed hard, beginning to feel his conscious yelling at him. "But I was wrong. I put too much pressure on a young girl without even making sure she was ready. I knew you two were emotionally unstable, but yet I expected her to remain sane without guidance? So I apologize for placing all the blame on you and I brought you hear today to ask how much time you two will need, I know you're where she needs to be."

Tom was in shock over Darius' confession. He was never a man to apologize and especially not one to say he was wrong. "I don't know how to answer that D. Music, before has helped us cope through everything. I don't know if that has changed or not. Only time will tell."

"I'll be around to visit T. Take care of her," Darius amended. He may be putting too much on Tom's shoulders, but he knew Tom could handle it.

Sadie was sitting on the couch with Jude trying to find a movie. Jude was struggling with her eating habits and Sadie was trying to convince her to eat popcorn.

"A few pieces please Jude!" Sadie begged shoving the bowl in her sister's hands.

"I'm not hungry," Jude groaned pushing the bowl back in equal force.

"Jude you need to eat something. You're too skinny," Sadie complained staring at how Jude looked warn down and fragile.

"I'll eat Tommy's pasta tonight, I promise." Jude negotiated while leaning her head to Sadie's shoulder.

"Thank you sis." Sadie whispered while holding Jude and playing with her hair. "Jude, remember how much I love you okay. I know we've been through some awful times, but I will always be here for you. If things get bad here or anything you can come home. I'll stay with you every night and make you what ever you want. Just know I'm here and so are mom and dad."

Jude was almost brought to tears at how sweet her sister had been, "I love you too Sadie, but I'm gonna be just fine here with Tom. You can all come whenever you want and we can even have sleepovers. I just feel better knowing we can mourn together of our loss. The baby may have been just a month old, but he or she still existed and he or she would still be part of me and Tom."

"You are so brave baby sis. You've been through so much and I am so proud." Sadie cooed holding her sister closely.

Tom entered the house later and saw Jude peacefully asleep in her sister's arms. Sadie looked up an offered a light smile before motioning him to sit beside them. He made sure to sit down gently and not to disrupt Jude. Sadie turned to Tom and spoke softly, "We're all trusting you to take care of her okay."

"I will I promise," Tommy replied resting a hand on Jude's leg. Everything could only get better from here, he had hoped staring at Jude's sleeping figure.


	10. Chapter 10: Scientist

This is a shorter chapter, but is needed to for the plot to progress. I really enjoyed this chapter because although Lana was my inspiration for all of the music choices and keeping Tom this bad guy, Coldplay was the reason I made their love so blatantly complicated. I wanted this chapter to explain why everything had always been so bumpy and irrational and most of the time confusing. You being confused was what I wanted because this whole story is about Jude and Tom being confused; it's their first relationship.

**Chapter Ten: Scientist**

One week had passed, and although Jude appeared to be getting worse. She refused to eat and when she would Tom tried forcing every food he could upon her. Her body was experiencing malnutrition and her anxiety was getting the best of her. Tom thought she would be able to get through this, but as time progressed everything that had been going on in Jude's life slowly hit her. It had been weeks since they broke off the engagement, but today it was fresh in Jude's mind. Tom didn't know how to process her mood swings especially when they would relate to so many topics. One minute she'd be kissing him tenderly thanking him for everything, the next minute her tears wouldn't stop flowing, and right after that Tom was the epitome of an awful person.

Finally it was his chance at peace and quiet as she slept on the leather couch in his personal studio at home. Jude loved sleeping there and Tom knew exactly why. Even if she was not ready to record she still needed the presence of music in her life to cope. Tom took one look at the piano behind the glass walls of the sound booth and felt the urge to just play, something that hasn't happened in a long time. He found himself drowning in a melody lost in thought. As his eyes could still watch his sleeping beauty everything they ever went through played through his mind. He started seeing all his faults.

When he first met Jude he knew right away she was special, he even told Kwest after night one she was different. Tom sighed and pressed the keys harder; _why had he been such a jerk? _When Jude caught him with Sadie was the first time he knew, without a doubt, she had stolen his heart. He had suspicions before that very moment, but his denial was like a drug and he forced himself into his old habits and routine too scared to break it. He reflected on every fight, every time they ran to someone else, and even more recently tour. Once Tom had finally given in and broke down his walls to fall in love with Jude all he wanted to do was be the perfect boyfriend, the perfect fiancé. But that was where he went wrong. How can you be perfect at anything you never had practice at? It occurred to him now that love was not like a science, which he foolishly treated it like. There were no hidden formulas to make it work and no experiments to test any hypothesis he may have had to make them work. You could not just _test _love. He spent his time analyzing everything including age and that was his downfall. Tom looked too far into problems trying to find logical ways to solve them and so did Jude.

It started almost immediately with them; being so naïve to feelings. If someone did something there was always a more extreme repercussion. Both of them always felt there needed to be a catastrophic reaction for every fault. Instead of sitting back and realizing love is highly illogical they tried to play the game. Instead of talking out Tom's insecurities he tried solving them himself. His worries of Jude being too young and needing life experience turned into a torturous experiment of letting her go on tour by herself. He didn't do it to strengthen their relationship; no he did it for science. He did it to test if she was truly his or not, and that just wasn't fair. Jude went in blind not knowing either. Then as his concoction began to backfire he did the only _logical _thing; flee instead of cleaning up the mess. That should have never been used as an experiment, her tour should have been a given something he didn't have to process, but Tom had to make it complicated. He could never just take things, as they were, simple.

Everything finally made sense to him he understood his actions. All he had to do was just get himself to stop over thinking and then maybe she would too. But before he could begin to explain anything there had to be an apology. Tom ripped his iPhone from his jean pockets with an idea, a song. Music always made their connection stronger.

Jude rose from her lying position on the couch and at first did not see Tom in her direct view. She stood and stretched and her eyes ultimately fell on him vigorously working behind the piano. This was a sight she had not seen in a long time, but it had brought a smile to her lips. She sat behind the soundboard and placed the headphones on. He hadn't realized she was awake and listening he was too caught up. Jude heard as he struggled with chord variations and she could tell by the way his lips were moving with no sound that he was trying to find a melody for some sort of lyrics. Just when she was about to give up listening and try to help him herself, she heard his voice.

"_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry_

_You don't know how lovely you are_

_I had to find you, tell you I need you_

_Tell you I'll set you apart"_

Jude's eyes began to tear; she knew right away where the inspiration had come from. Tom had set her apart. She was far beyond the whores of his past and so much more than the expectations he had for his future. She was different from anyone he had ever met back then, and she remained just as special if not more than ever now.

"_Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions_

_Oh let's go back to the start_

_Running in circles, coming in tails_

_Heads on a science apart."_

What both of them wouldn't give to go back and know what they do now? Tom wanted to change all of his actions in their relationship. He wanted to go back and not look at love as if it were some sort of class he desperately needed to pass.

"_Nobody said it was easy_

_It's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be this hard_

_Oh, take me back to the start."_

Neither knew what to expect; it was both of their first relationships. Neither of them expected to fall so deeply either. Everything was chaotic and confusing and just when they got the hang of loving each other it would get torn apart. He knew love wouldn't be _easy, _but he never expected it to be so _hard._

"_I was just guessing at numbers and figures_

_Pulling your puzzles apart_

_Questions of science, science and progress_

_Do not speak as loud as my heart_

_Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me_

_Oh and I rush to the start_

_Running in circles, chasing our tails_

_Coming back as we are"_

Jude watched and listened as the love of her life poured himself into this song. She took note of the lyrics and let them drift through her brain. She knew exactly what his soul was confessing. She knew exactly what he had meant about _guessing numbers and figures. _She knew Tom had tried _pulling her puzzle apart,_ he tried understanding her and his love for her, but there is nothing to understand. Jude knew because it was exactly how she was towards Tommy. She spent so much time trying to figure out why he was the way he was, so much time trying to figure out how to change it, instead of letting love take its course. They ran around in circles constantly _chasing their tails_, just to come back to the same conclusion, they were in love. But it was never good enough before, they had to keep testing and hypothesizing, no matter how many times the answer appeared they would not accept just accept it; **until now. **

"_Nobody said it was easy_

_Oh it's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be so hard_

_I'm going back to the start"_

Tom had let his head fall down after his fingers left the keys. He had tears staining his face. Jude tried getting herself together, but waking up and instantly being greeted with the reality of their relationship was a lot to process. She could only hope that in finding their problem, they were still willing to work at it this time without the games. Her finger pressed the intercom and the static noise forced Tom to jump and his vision concentrated to Jude. From the look in her eyes he knew she had heard the song.

Her voice was shaken, but her heart was sincere. "I love you Tommy."

A light of hope shown through his face; that was the first time in weeks she looked at him with so much vulnerability and said those words. He hadn't heard them since their 'break up'. He made his way out of the sound booth and offered his hand for Jude to latch on too. She accepted and stood up to face him both their hands holding one another's as they stared contently. "I love you too Jude, so much that I'll never be able to stop." His hand held hers tightly, never wanting to let go.

"What's the name of the song?" She whispered with shy eyes looking up at him.

"Scientist." He responded with equal hesitation.

Jude's lips tugged into a small grin, "I like it."

It was time to stop being scientist because love was not science. They understood that now.


End file.
